ready for work?

so one month from today,
work will resume.
yes, time flies.
it is even faster when i take a 12 weeks maternity leave instead of the 16 weeks.

why 12 weeks you might say?
i would definitely love to have the full 16 weeks straight however let's just say my elders advice me to take 12 weeks first.
i would take the remaining 4 weeks as and when i need to, like going for Mishel's check-up and injections.

so am i ready for work?
i can't believe that my answer is yes!
i can't wait for my brain cells to start working hard.
i have spent months not pushing myself, taking work easy.
now is the time to set a career path for myself and prove my worthiness.
not that i never set a path but i wasn't able to excel due to my pregnancy because i got sick/sleepy often.
in addition pregnant ladies have pregnancy brains.
so i would have to reread some paragraph over and over again.
i remember having to do work but i am super sleepy that in order to keep myself awake, i had to munch on some snacks.
if munching still doesn't help, i would take a power nap on my desk.
it was tough keeping myself awake at work few months back.
but now i am ready to stay awake, stay focus and contribute at work.
i need to be brave to speak up more regularly since my division is dominated by men.
even after 1 year work, i am still adjusting myself to the environment (*note: not work but the environment)
i am not that comfortable maybe because i came from an all girls secondary school and that might have impeded my confidence when talking to men.
a challenge which i will have to work on.

being a career woman doesn't mean that i am going to neglect my parenting role.
i will still be a (caring, loving, concerned, etc) mom to Mishel.
if i can,
i would like to work from home or be a stay at home mommy so that i can monitor Mishel's development, be the first to see Mishel crawl, walk, to hear her first word, etc.
not now, perhaps in the future (*hint hint to my husband)
no more staying late in office, instead go to work earlier.
be back home and spend the rest of my evening with Mishel and husband, that is if i have no committee meetings.
if i do have meetings, i would have to make time for both my daughter and husband.
in order to find balance for both work and family, i need to sacrifice time for myself and definitely sacrifice some of my sleep.
if i think about it,
work is always there, never-ending.
i have to be smart and prioritize it then i will be a happier employee.
jot down the urgent things that needed to be done.
when i am stuck on a particular task, i will take a break and move along to do the next on the list.
afterwhich i will return back to the stuck task and insya'Allah i will find it more manageable.

last but not least and most importantly,
i should never neglect my husband.
we should still go out on dates, movies, dinners, holidays and have quality time together.
we should continue working on our relationship.

when the both of us have a good, positive relationship,

we can help each other grow and enrich each other lives.

on top of that,

our children will grow up in a safe, positive and supportive environment.

insya'Allah, if we have a long life, when our children are all grown up and led their own lives,
we will still have each other for companion.

insya'Allah i will succeed at work with a fresh new physical, mental, spiritual and emotional health!
thanks to pregnancy, Mishel and my husband!

*ps. honey, i miss writing love notes to you.