if that's how you think, so be it. cause that is what makes people unique as everyone has different approach in life thus, leading to different beliefs. don't worry, i'm risking, not you. and again, i emphasize that i'm not putting any pressure on you.
i think this chorus from a song is meaningful
so i won't give up
no i won't breakdown
sooner than it seems life turns around
and i will be strong
even when it all goes wrong
and when i'm standing in the dark i'll still believe
someone's watching over me
[bridge]
it doesn't matter what people say
it doesn't matter how long it takes
believe in yourself and you'll find
it only matters how true you are
be true to yourself and follow your heart
good luck for your paper tomorrow! and yeah, counting the hours till raisins. *drools cum winks* yum yum.
Thursday, March 31
Wednesday, March 30
c0me 0n, cheeR up!
i know you're feeling shitty over your paper. i know it's hard to forget about it cause it's still fresh in your mind. it's not your fault, it's just that luck wasn't with you. due to the careless teacher who doesn't check the paper thoroughly, it affected your self-esteem. making you finishing the paper with half-heartedly. i understand how you felt while doing the paper. you just wish that you can start all over again. let just live it to god. you did put in your efforts and i believe that god is fair. *hugs* cheer up!
Tuesday, March 29
sm!L!n9...
am i in a dreamland and still in it? if i am, do me a favor : don't wake me up. cause i'm enjoying every minute of it. it's been a long time since i have this pleasant dream.
do take care of yourself and good luck for your papers! *grins* and yeah, the raisins. and make sure it's without the cap. haha.
it doesn't matter if we're kilometers apart. cause every day without fail, you keep popping up in my mind. and your awesome smile lifted my gloomy spirit and make it to a joyous one. the moment i wake up, all i think is you. and it's already a routine for me to smile to myself before heading to bed. the reason behind my smile is again, you.
do take care of yourself and good luck for your papers! *grins* and yeah, the raisins. and make sure it's without the cap. haha.
it doesn't matter if we're kilometers apart. cause every day without fail, you keep popping up in my mind. and your awesome smile lifted my gloomy spirit and make it to a joyous one. the moment i wake up, all i think is you. and it's already a routine for me to smile to myself before heading to bed. the reason behind my smile is again, you.
Sunday, March 27
+he +Ru+h...
thanks for taking the initiative to talk about that topic. i really appreciated it. cause i don't think i'm able to start it as it's a risky thing. after sharing, at least it makes us clear about how we stand. no more confusion and doubts between us. it was a topic worth discussing about. there's nothing more that i could ask for. just a sincere friendship from you and no doubt that i still have a crush on you! haha. let just see what does the future holds for us. i'm overwhelmed with gratitude to have you. *smiles*
thursday night, went over to malaysia to sleepover my grandma's kampung. the weather there is so unbearable. i wonder how the people over there adapt to it. it was so hot, warm and makes you sticky. thank god people invented an appliance called fan. haha. it doesn't help much though, but it still helps. oh yes, i drove on the road for a short distance. haha. broke the law. *oops* it was quite scary as it was a space wagon. everyone on board was freaked out especially my cousin, in, she was frighten that i drove into the drain. well in, you're wrong. haha. it was much simpler driving an automatic car.
tomorrow going to have my driving practical. i wonder how long does it take for me to get a qualified driving license. aiming to get it within this year.
today, you have seen me in my st. marg's uniform. haha. i've always enjoyed looking at yours.
thursday night, went over to malaysia to sleepover my grandma's kampung. the weather there is so unbearable. i wonder how the people over there adapt to it. it was so hot, warm and makes you sticky. thank god people invented an appliance called fan. haha. it doesn't help much though, but it still helps. oh yes, i drove on the road for a short distance. haha. broke the law. *oops* it was quite scary as it was a space wagon. everyone on board was freaked out especially my cousin, in, she was frighten that i drove into the drain. well in, you're wrong. haha. it was much simpler driving an automatic car.
tomorrow going to have my driving practical. i wonder how long does it take for me to get a qualified driving license. aiming to get it within this year.
today, you have seen me in my st. marg's uniform. haha. i've always enjoyed looking at yours.
Thursday, March 24
m!55..
*smiles* it was nice hearing your voice.
even though, it's just a day that i'll be gone, i'll still miss you. till then, take care.
even though, it's just a day that i'll be gone, i'll still miss you. till then, take care.
5h0uLdn'+
in life, one shouldn't hope too much cause you will feel the pain later. therefore, just be grateful and appreciate every single day.
i'm done with my plant nutrition and hydroponics examinations! thank god it was doable. can pass, scoring wise, dare not say. will appreciate any marks that i'll get cause i did put in the effort to study and revise. sufficient? i'm not sure about that.
got back my environmental science test paper. *grins* scored 82%. woo hoo. didn't expect that cause was just hoping for a pass.
one more paper left. environmental science exams! on 1st april, next friday.
i'm glad that i've a chance you know you better. hope it will go on smoothly. *smiles*
i'm done with my plant nutrition and hydroponics examinations! thank god it was doable. can pass, scoring wise, dare not say. will appreciate any marks that i'll get cause i did put in the effort to study and revise. sufficient? i'm not sure about that.
got back my environmental science test paper. *grins* scored 82%. woo hoo. didn't expect that cause was just hoping for a pass.
one more paper left. environmental science exams! on 1st april, next friday.
i'm glad that i've a chance you know you better. hope it will go on smoothly. *smiles*
Tuesday, March 22
c0nfe55!0n5.
yesterday, had a mini confusion with someone in the afternoon. it was an awkward feeling though. i'm lost. called my information counter, suliza, and talked things out with her, asking her opinions about some stuffs. basically listing out the reasons that causes the awkward feeling between me and someone. kinda in a panic mode cause i wouldn't want to ruin or affect our friendship. it's been blooming beautifully and wouldn't want a sting to burst it. it would be terrible if that happens. a great friend that i wouldn't want to lose.
in the evening, someone apologised for his actions. you're forgiven, you didn't do anything wrong. i was just upset that you wouldn't want to share it with me. but it's fine with me as i respect your privacy.
*smiles* had a long nice chat after that. and both of us discovered an interesting fact.
wasn't easy to put myself to sleep.
back to revision.
in the evening, someone apologised for his actions. you're forgiven, you didn't do anything wrong. i was just upset that you wouldn't want to share it with me. but it's fine with me as i respect your privacy.
*smiles* had a long nice chat after that. and both of us discovered an interesting fact.
wasn't easy to put myself to sleep.
back to revision.
Monday, March 21
5m!Le5 @nd 9R!n5...
friday morning before class, met up with a friend of mine cause he wanted to lend me a storybook entitled the da vinci code written by dan brown.
had the environmental science test after which we can go home. head to the school library with sakeenah to borrow books for my uncle regarding illumination and lightings. and to find the past exams papers for practice.
went home with the same friend of mine that i met in the morning. thanks again and sorry for troubling you.
saturday morning, read the book on the bus while on my way to my driving practical. managed to read a few chapters of it. and it's getting more interesting.
i enjoyed the practical very much cause the instructor never comment much and was easy going. he's an old man who can joked around. i drove quite a long distance and drove past my school.
had kidsREAD in the afternoon, had to meet up early as we had to be sure of the lesson plans as some people from the library board are coming down to checked on us.
slept when i've reached home. was really tired.
i have no plans for sunday and the activity that i did most was reading. yes. read the book the whole day. well, started reading from 11. it has hooked me and it will be painful for me to let it go.
at night went out to eat dinner with my aunt's family and mine. the food was delicious. a worth $102.
and for today. woke up and continue reading the book. and i'm proud to say, after three days of reading, i finished it! the book has some stuffs that i didn't know about. like the paintings of the last supper and blah, blah, blah. do read if you want to know more. well, for those who liked thriller, you should try reading the book. not a bad book.
had the environmental science test after which we can go home. head to the school library with sakeenah to borrow books for my uncle regarding illumination and lightings. and to find the past exams papers for practice.
went home with the same friend of mine that i met in the morning. thanks again and sorry for troubling you.
saturday morning, read the book on the bus while on my way to my driving practical. managed to read a few chapters of it. and it's getting more interesting.
i enjoyed the practical very much cause the instructor never comment much and was easy going. he's an old man who can joked around. i drove quite a long distance and drove past my school.
had kidsREAD in the afternoon, had to meet up early as we had to be sure of the lesson plans as some people from the library board are coming down to checked on us.
slept when i've reached home. was really tired.
i have no plans for sunday and the activity that i did most was reading. yes. read the book the whole day. well, started reading from 11. it has hooked me and it will be painful for me to let it go.
at night went out to eat dinner with my aunt's family and mine. the food was delicious. a worth $102.
and for today. woke up and continue reading the book. and i'm proud to say, after three days of reading, i finished it! the book has some stuffs that i didn't know about. like the paintings of the last supper and blah, blah, blah. do read if you want to know more. well, for those who liked thriller, you should try reading the book. not a bad book.
Sunday, March 20
enj0y...
*smiles cum grins* i've always enjoyed the conversations i had with you. never have i regret it. let stay this way.
Thursday, March 17
c0nFu5ed...
how would you know if someone likes you? what if you thought that someone is into you, but he/she isn't? i'm sick of getting hurt, it will just make me weaker and it's really hard to trust the opposite sex again. i'm forcing myself to believe that he ain't into me. he's just treating me as a very good friend.
well, i'm doing fine on my own but it's enjoyable with you. to think about it, what's the point of having a relationship? i'm glad with the way we are.
there's two songs stucked in my head. one is love takes time by mariah carey and the other is all about you, mcfly.
am meeting sakeenah and estya. cause we're gonna walk around town before snw starts. i want to take neoprints. haha. miss taking them.
school was shitty yesterday. had to finish up the graph and calculations last minute for plant nutrition and hydroponics.
saw farid while waiting for my driving practical to commence . i need to improve on a lot of areas. didn't get the cute instructor but saw him. he ackowledge me. haha.
didn't have lesson on tuesday. slacked at home.
monday, had a group presentation. i'm so thankful that all the projects are over!
well, i'm doing fine on my own but it's enjoyable with you. to think about it, what's the point of having a relationship? i'm glad with the way we are.
there's two songs stucked in my head. one is love takes time by mariah carey and the other is all about you, mcfly.
am meeting sakeenah and estya. cause we're gonna walk around town before snw starts. i want to take neoprints. haha. miss taking them.
school was shitty yesterday. had to finish up the graph and calculations last minute for plant nutrition and hydroponics.
saw farid while waiting for my driving practical to commence . i need to improve on a lot of areas. didn't get the cute instructor but saw him. he ackowledge me. haha.
didn't have lesson on tuesday. slacked at home.
monday, had a group presentation. i'm so thankful that all the projects are over!
Sunday, March 13
+!ReD..
pictures during the bukit timah nature walk. me and my 'honey'. haha. shikin said i look tan in here. well, it was after 45 minutes of walking. not on level ground, but on a very steep slope. this is a pic at the summit. and yea, i was tired.

sakeenah aka honey and me

sakeenah. me. joanna.
picture at kap macdonals. stuck on the right hand side. haha.

nurul. aidah. amalina. hedzlyn. sakeenah. atirah.
been really busy the past few days. had to finish up my ita project by friday night. the ita which stands for information technology applications project consists of a powerpoint slide and a 'website' done by dreamweaver. at last i finished it at 0630 saturday morning. i spent more than 8 hours sitting in front of the com, finishing up the project. didn't sleep the whole night. am able to get my rest around 0700. thank god i'm done with it. one more project to be present on monday. and i'll be free!
thursday was my last ocom class. got back my oral presentation marks and i've got an A! haha. at last, it pays off.
afterwhich slacked at the atrium with estya and gloria. chatted about a lot of stuffs.
then had sports and wellness, next week will be the last.
floorball training, had a friendly match against the guys as it was our last training. the score was boys 4, girls 2. well, the guys are really overconfident i guess. too bad guys, you need to try harder. *sticks out tongue* haha. playing with them left me breathless as they are fast and their skills are good. i had a few chances to shoot but i failed. damn.
head down to kap macdonals for dinner. it's like an 'outing' for the guys and the girls. didn't really interact with the guys as something is stopping me. but i can't deny, some guys caught my eyes. haha.
friday had environmental science lecture follow by a walk at bukit timah nature reserve. it was my first time going there and was surprised at the steep slope we had to walk. the walk was really tiring. almost give up. climed all the way to the summit.
head back home to continue with my project. then off for my driving practical.
the instructor was boring. one that i can't joke with. and he doesn't smile. well, my next lesson is today. hope it's a instructor that i can click with.
*all smiles for friday* as ... haha, i rather save it for myself. really appreciate it. i enjoy your company. thanks again.
yesterday had kidsREAD. was an inactive 'teacher'. too tired from the project. sorry kids, next week, i'll try to be more alive! haha.

sakeenah aka honey and me

sakeenah. me. joanna.
picture at kap macdonals. stuck on the right hand side. haha.

nurul. aidah. amalina. hedzlyn. sakeenah. atirah.
been really busy the past few days. had to finish up my ita project by friday night. the ita which stands for information technology applications project consists of a powerpoint slide and a 'website' done by dreamweaver. at last i finished it at 0630 saturday morning. i spent more than 8 hours sitting in front of the com, finishing up the project. didn't sleep the whole night. am able to get my rest around 0700. thank god i'm done with it. one more project to be present on monday. and i'll be free!
thursday was my last ocom class. got back my oral presentation marks and i've got an A! haha. at last, it pays off.
afterwhich slacked at the atrium with estya and gloria. chatted about a lot of stuffs.
then had sports and wellness, next week will be the last.
floorball training, had a friendly match against the guys as it was our last training. the score was boys 4, girls 2. well, the guys are really overconfident i guess. too bad guys, you need to try harder. *sticks out tongue* haha. playing with them left me breathless as they are fast and their skills are good. i had a few chances to shoot but i failed. damn.
head down to kap macdonals for dinner. it's like an 'outing' for the guys and the girls. didn't really interact with the guys as something is stopping me. but i can't deny, some guys caught my eyes. haha.
friday had environmental science lecture follow by a walk at bukit timah nature reserve. it was my first time going there and was surprised at the steep slope we had to walk. the walk was really tiring. almost give up. climed all the way to the summit.
head back home to continue with my project. then off for my driving practical.
the instructor was boring. one that i can't joke with. and he doesn't smile. well, my next lesson is today. hope it's a instructor that i can click with.
*all smiles for friday* as ... haha, i rather save it for myself. really appreciate it. i enjoy your company. thanks again.
yesterday had kidsREAD. was an inactive 'teacher'. too tired from the project. sorry kids, next week, i'll try to be more alive! haha.
Wednesday, March 9
pr@c+!c@L eX@m5.
had my plant nutrition and hydroponics practical examination today. it was okay. i don't think i'm able to score. and the paper consist of 20%. well, just have to wait and see how it turns out to be. got back our composting test, marked 20/30. damn, how am i supposed to get an A for the module? unless i can score in the theory paper. *shakes head*
after the practical examinations, we had 3 hours of break before the next lesson. went to watch the exorcist with sakeenah. two scary cats watching with each other. haha.
for ita, we went to mark our attendance and get back our excel marks. A. thank goodness. the lecturer did gave us some tips on how to do our projects and we can go. shit, ita project must hand in by friday night. *sighs* i wonder what's new with life.
after the practical examinations, we had 3 hours of break before the next lesson. went to watch the exorcist with sakeenah. two scary cats watching with each other. haha.
for ita, we went to mark our attendance and get back our excel marks. A. thank goodness. the lecturer did gave us some tips on how to do our projects and we can go. shit, ita project must hand in by friday night. *sighs* i wonder what's new with life.
Tuesday, March 8
1 d0wn, 2 +0 90..
after today, i'm left with 2 projects. one individual, the other is a group. but i consider the group project is done, all we left is to present. my eyes are getting tired from my last minute project that i had to present in the morning. from today presentation, i realised that it doesn't matter how simple or how nice your model is. cause all that matters was how you convinced others to your ideas. the way you present, the way you talked, how you express your views and blah, blah, blah.
am seriously tired and i can't wait for the holidays.
yesterday, the dga photoshop test was shit cause i can't score an A. screwed up at the beginning and felt hopeless. maybe that affected my work. damn.
and why for the past two days, i've been thinking about fadleen? i'm curious and wanted to know how he's doing. those memories i had with him lingers on my mind. and thinking back, i smiled to myself. thanks for the wonderful time we had. i miss you.
am seriously tired and i can't wait for the holidays.
yesterday, the dga photoshop test was shit cause i can't score an A. screwed up at the beginning and felt hopeless. maybe that affected my work. damn.
and why for the past two days, i've been thinking about fadleen? i'm curious and wanted to know how he's doing. those memories i had with him lingers on my mind. and thinking back, i smiled to myself. thanks for the wonderful time we had. i miss you.
Monday, March 7
cu+e, cu+e, cu+e..
*smiles* for my driving practical yesterday, i'm able to drive on the road and the highest speed i went was 65km/h. woohoo! not only that, the instructor was cute! he wasn't like any other instructor, those ah peks. i assume he is in his late twenties. *melts* chinese, tall, big eyes, blah, blah, blah. he was really nice. am really hope to get more of him. haha. he has that 'voltage' in his eyes and when he smiles. haha. me and joanna brought up that 'voltage' thingy. it's about people with eyes that can make you warm inside, it's like they see through you. some doesn't have it, but when they smile, the 'voltage' appears.
i didn't touch on my projects. no mood to do them. and tomorrow i'm having my model presentation in the morning. looks like by hook or by crook, i have to finish it by today. today had only 3 hours of school as we're having dga photoshop test. am not going for floorball as i need to finish up the project.
saturday, for kidsREAD, i was so glad that esther came. cause the children are really too active. in all, there were 18 kids. it was really hard to control them. but overall, it was fun!
i didn't touch on my projects. no mood to do them. and tomorrow i'm having my model presentation in the morning. looks like by hook or by crook, i have to finish it by today. today had only 3 hours of school as we're having dga photoshop test. am not going for floorball as i need to finish up the project.
saturday, for kidsREAD, i was so glad that esther came. cause the children are really too active. in all, there were 18 kids. it was really hard to control them. but overall, it was fun!
Saturday, March 5
Ch0c0L@+e5..
thursday, as usual had ocom and sports and wellness. for ocom, just sat in the class and see others presentations. well, all of them were interesting. will be getting our ocom results next week. am aiming for an A.
it was raining for sports and wellness, therefore have to run around the indoor area for 5 minutes while listening to some techno music. as usual, i was sweating profusely, it was as if i took a shower.
had floorball afterwards. not much drills, had more games. the drills we did, it was tiring. we had to have that sense of urgency, thus, we had to sprint with the ball. i mean not much people came and all you know after shooting at the goalpost, it's your turn again. the drills were useful for me as it helped me to build a confidence to sprint with the ball during the games. now, i have the courage to run with the ball alone a bit longer before passing to the next players. at the end of the day, while reflecting about floorball, i've realised that my confidence level is slowly growing but still i must remember that i shouldn't be a bigheaded as too much confidence will bring me down.
am not going for training this monday as i'm having a model presentation on tuesday. and my model is not even 50% done.
friday, had make up class for environmental science. and my dearest dr. koh yong cheong didn't booked the room and therefore he was giving lecture in a room without the aircon on and he had to open the doors for ventilation. had practical, did some experiment about water, different types of water. to check their dissolved oxygen, total suspended particles and to check under the microscope for plankton or algaes.
heading home, stop by jurong point to buy ice cream. bought ben and jerry chocolate brownie fudge ice cream.
recalling back, i've been eating chocolates every day for the past few days without fail. well, it does lightened up my mood and it produces energy for me to smile. *smiles*
today going to have kidsREAD. one of the volunteer wouldn't be able to come. and it looks like me and shikin had to plan again for the lesson plans. seeing the kids too, brightens up my day. hopefully today there will be more kids attending it.
it was raining for sports and wellness, therefore have to run around the indoor area for 5 minutes while listening to some techno music. as usual, i was sweating profusely, it was as if i took a shower.
had floorball afterwards. not much drills, had more games. the drills we did, it was tiring. we had to have that sense of urgency, thus, we had to sprint with the ball. i mean not much people came and all you know after shooting at the goalpost, it's your turn again. the drills were useful for me as it helped me to build a confidence to sprint with the ball during the games. now, i have the courage to run with the ball alone a bit longer before passing to the next players. at the end of the day, while reflecting about floorball, i've realised that my confidence level is slowly growing but still i must remember that i shouldn't be a bigheaded as too much confidence will bring me down.
am not going for training this monday as i'm having a model presentation on tuesday. and my model is not even 50% done.
friday, had make up class for environmental science. and my dearest dr. koh yong cheong didn't booked the room and therefore he was giving lecture in a room without the aircon on and he had to open the doors for ventilation. had practical, did some experiment about water, different types of water. to check their dissolved oxygen, total suspended particles and to check under the microscope for plankton or algaes.
heading home, stop by jurong point to buy ice cream. bought ben and jerry chocolate brownie fudge ice cream.
recalling back, i've been eating chocolates every day for the past few days without fail. well, it does lightened up my mood and it produces energy for me to smile. *smiles*
today going to have kidsREAD. one of the volunteer wouldn't be able to come. and it looks like me and shikin had to plan again for the lesson plans. seeing the kids too, brightens up my day. hopefully today there will be more kids attending it.
Wednesday, March 2
@L0ne...
mom, dad, happy 19th anniversary! bought roses for my mom. and the roses are blooming beautifully, just like you mom. love both of you!
yesterday, for landscape design, we had no lecture and we had to do our models. getting them in shape, designing them, experimenting with different materials and blah, blah, blah, things to do related to our models.
on the way home, i saw a guy that falls into my catogery of cute. he dressed like a poly student, so i assume he's a poly student. either sp or np. i assume again he's malay with that 'chinesy' look. he sat a seat in front of me but on the other side. i dared myself to smile at him when he wanted to go off. that excited, 'electrifying' cum sparks feeling came. but too bad i didn't get a chance to smile cause i was busily giving way for the guy beside me to go out. all i know was that he did glanced behind.
today i wore a bright yellow baju kurung to school. why? cause i'm running out of clothes. waiting for this semester to ends so that i can have a new batch of clothes next semester. i was like attracting eyes. well sadly there wasn't any cute guys.
for plant nutrition and hydroponics, we did some raking of dried leaves, clearing of grasses and adding fertilizers to some trees. of course not doing all those stuffs in my baju kurung. next week is plant nutrition and hydroponics practical examination.
went to the library during the two hour break. borrowed a book about love and two ghost stories. haha.
while reading the book about love on the bus and listening to mariah carey's hero repeatedly, a song that i memorize when i was 8 years old. old memories came back and i can never forget my romantic love story. recalling that, i smiled to myself and thinking that i'm one lucky person to experience those. i'm sure am moving on with my life, but i can't erase those memories and i wouldn't want to. it was from those memories which helped me to know myself better.
yesterday, for landscape design, we had no lecture and we had to do our models. getting them in shape, designing them, experimenting with different materials and blah, blah, blah, things to do related to our models.
on the way home, i saw a guy that falls into my catogery of cute. he dressed like a poly student, so i assume he's a poly student. either sp or np. i assume again he's malay with that 'chinesy' look. he sat a seat in front of me but on the other side. i dared myself to smile at him when he wanted to go off. that excited, 'electrifying' cum sparks feeling came. but too bad i didn't get a chance to smile cause i was busily giving way for the guy beside me to go out. all i know was that he did glanced behind.
today i wore a bright yellow baju kurung to school. why? cause i'm running out of clothes. waiting for this semester to ends so that i can have a new batch of clothes next semester. i was like attracting eyes. well sadly there wasn't any cute guys.
for plant nutrition and hydroponics, we did some raking of dried leaves, clearing of grasses and adding fertilizers to some trees. of course not doing all those stuffs in my baju kurung. next week is plant nutrition and hydroponics practical examination.
went to the library during the two hour break. borrowed a book about love and two ghost stories. haha.
while reading the book about love on the bus and listening to mariah carey's hero repeatedly, a song that i memorize when i was 8 years old. old memories came back and i can never forget my romantic love story. recalling that, i smiled to myself and thinking that i'm one lucky person to experience those. i'm sure am moving on with my life, but i can't erase those memories and i wouldn't want to. it was from those memories which helped me to know myself better.
Tuesday, March 1
g!v!n9 !n...
sometimes no matter how strong or how hard you tried, you will still have to give in to your tears.
that was what i had to experience last night. for the past few days, i've been stressed hearing my mom complaning to me about my brother, asking me to call my brother about his whereabouts. it's just sucky. why must he make things difficult for us? he's enjoying outside while at home, i have no choice but to heard my mom nagging. not only me, all at home had to listen. i didn't know who to blame. my dad? my mom? my brother? me? it's pointless. this wasn't the first time. he's been doing this several times. coming home late and going out every day. god. why can't he be mindful? why can't he think? god damn it! he's 16.
had 3 missed call during training. it was my dad. called back, my brother was shouting asking where was i. well, i'm sorry to keep both of you waiting. it was not on purpose. getting on the car, i let my heart out, shouting at my brother on how i feel about his shitty attitude. on how because of him, everyone was affected. he too, was shouting back. dad stop both of us. for a few seconds there, i felt great! finally, i'm able to tell him. on the way home, tears just flowed. i tried to control but *shakes head* i can't stop it. i realised that every time i'm having pms, i am bound to cry.
it's not that everyone at home is going against you having fun. they are just concern about you. please don't be selfish. help us to help you.
i was choked yesterday. i had a big chunk of ice measuring about 5cm by 6 cm. and i have no idea how it got swallowed. i was thinking should i throw it out or make it go down. i don't dare making it go out so i had to go through the process where it enters my esophagus. it was a painful process. my throat feel cold and it was hard for me to breathe. i was with my maid in my room with the door closed but my maid was sleeping peacefully and i felt guilty if i wake her up. due to that, i had no one. i was alone. i tried to make a noise but i can't. quickly search for my water bottle in my bag and drink it, hoping the ice will melt. after a few seconds of agony, i was back to my usual self. the ice melted. thank god i am fine.
that was what i had to experience last night. for the past few days, i've been stressed hearing my mom complaning to me about my brother, asking me to call my brother about his whereabouts. it's just sucky. why must he make things difficult for us? he's enjoying outside while at home, i have no choice but to heard my mom nagging. not only me, all at home had to listen. i didn't know who to blame. my dad? my mom? my brother? me? it's pointless. this wasn't the first time. he's been doing this several times. coming home late and going out every day. god. why can't he be mindful? why can't he think? god damn it! he's 16.
had 3 missed call during training. it was my dad. called back, my brother was shouting asking where was i. well, i'm sorry to keep both of you waiting. it was not on purpose. getting on the car, i let my heart out, shouting at my brother on how i feel about his shitty attitude. on how because of him, everyone was affected. he too, was shouting back. dad stop both of us. for a few seconds there, i felt great! finally, i'm able to tell him. on the way home, tears just flowed. i tried to control but *shakes head* i can't stop it. i realised that every time i'm having pms, i am bound to cry.
it's not that everyone at home is going against you having fun. they are just concern about you. please don't be selfish. help us to help you.
i was choked yesterday. i had a big chunk of ice measuring about 5cm by 6 cm. and i have no idea how it got swallowed. i was thinking should i throw it out or make it go down. i don't dare making it go out so i had to go through the process where it enters my esophagus. it was a painful process. my throat feel cold and it was hard for me to breathe. i was with my maid in my room with the door closed but my maid was sleeping peacefully and i felt guilty if i wake her up. due to that, i had no one. i was alone. i tried to make a noise but i can't. quickly search for my water bottle in my bag and drink it, hoping the ice will melt. after a few seconds of agony, i was back to my usual self. the ice melted. thank god i am fine.
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