a harsh day in school

i never felt really tired after school before until today.
it was those kind of tired that you just want to sleep once you get home!
it was not about having lots and lots of reading cum thinking to catch up on nor the stairs i have to climb every day.
it was all because of the stupid uncontrollable lecture theatre.
it was freezing in the class, everyone had their sweaters on and they kept rubbing their hands together.

i used up a huge amount of energy on keeping myself alive.
it can't get any worst because i didn't consume food.
no food = no energy.
i had my jacket on but it seems futile.
this was my first time having all my fingertip numb!
i can't feel what i'm touching.
then all the negative thoughts streaming through my mind.
will it be permament?
can i no longer feel anymore?
because i heard once the temperature hit certain degrees, your fingers drop off literally because the blood flow is clot.
i even had a silly idea to bring in gloves for class next time.
i was frighten that i kept looking at my fingers whether it's turning black.
i kept pinching each fingertip but of no help.
i wouldn't want to lose my sense of feel.
that was how cold it was.
normally if i get cold, only my pinky would get numb but today,
all.
how can i not be worried?

once i get home,
which took me an hour plus due to the congested traffic,
i ate!
that was how bad my energy was used up in keeping myself warm.

i washed up a little and head to bed.

and was awoken by a call from the partner.

that's how i am here blogging away.

once i'm done, i'll head back to sleep.

we are all programmed to stay alive.

the body systems would do anything to keep us breathing.
why is there a sense of fear if you see someone who is attacking you with a parang?
because you don't want to die.
anorexic don't die suddenly,
their body systems slowly stop working completely,
eg. their mensus would not come after months of starving, their hair is lifeless, etc.

i was touched by the partner.
he knows that i always look forward to hearing his voice at the end of the day to ease my mind.
he fell asleep yesterday,
but he still remembered to call me even though he was half conscious.
oh, how i love him!

sweetheart,
we're a couple who is not even 2, but the events we went through together shows a lot.
especially those bittersweet ones.
i'm sure you know which ones darl.
now, both of us are woking hard to mould a good future ahead.
i know how serious we are about each other.
let us stay in this honeymoon period forever.