hello back!

hello back readers!
i'm back!
back from the hectic weekend.

ok.
when i first pick up the ping pong ball, it was white with a red dot.
my hopes were dampen.
and when i turned it,
i was lucky enough to pick a ping pong ball with numerals on it.
it had 351 written on it.
oh boy!
i was excited and so was the partner.

i had a good start before the challenge.
the partner was pampering me.
=)

my mind is all set for it.
but i overlooked my physical state.
a few hours after the challenge, everything was going on well.
i made friends, talk with them.

about 3-5 am,
i started to feel sleepy.
to keep myself awake,
i kept pinching my thighs, those little pinches that hurts.
and now,
when i look at that area,
it has blueblack marks.
there was my brother with his friends who kept talking to me to keep me awake.
after they have gone, i started counting with my fingers the alphabet and other stuffs.
i look at the sky,
admiring the beautiful stars against the navy blue sky.
there and then,
i was imagining myself being at the beach with partner,
listening to the waves, lying on the sand and looking up to the sky.
it really shows how desperate i was to stay awake.
thankfully, i managed to survive through the night.

after the 7 am break,
i realised my feet were hurting badly.
whenever i started to move it,
it hurts.
it looked swollen with some spots.
i move it around.
stamp my feet, stretched it, etc.

about 10am,
i was glad to see my familiar supporters.
my mom, dad, sisters.
i was really making a major decision.
to hang in or let go.
it hurts so badly.

not only that,
the weather was hot and i got thirsty.

as silly as it sounds,
i cried while hanging in there.
it was such an emotional time for me.
i don't want to disappoint those who were behind me.
my dad looked at me and pointed to his head.
and i understood what he meant.
mind over body.
i really tried.
i saw my mom's face
reminiscing about it,
it brought tears to my eyes.
that feeling was so intense.
i think about the partner.
about everyone that i'll disappoint.
it hurts.
and my mom added that mama in and papa 2 is coming down.
i felt worst.
i cried too because the pain was unbearable.
every positions that i tried standing hurts.

in the end,
i have to give in to my legs because i got scared.
the person was saying.
"are you sure you're gonna risk your legs for the car?"
and yeah i was thinking.
"so what if i win the car, but i have no legs to drive it?"
isn't that scary?
i treasure my life, health much more than material things.

what keeps me going for the 22 hours and 56 minutes were my lovely supporters.
they came and cheer me on.
when i was with them, i felt lively.
it was touching to know i have my loved ones behind me.

i'm sorry to let you all down.
i tried my best.

i was pushed out in a wheelchair as my feets were badly swollen.
i can't walk.
when the medic placed ice pack on my feet.
i cried and scream.
whenever he did something to my feet,
i shriek.
i can't help it.
when i walked,
it reminded me of a retarded person walking.

when i was done with the challenge.
i had one more challenge.
to climb the 4 storeys of stairs to reach home.
and i was piggyback by my uncle.
when i reached home,
i talked to them about my experiences with my eyes closed.
that was how tired i was.

and now,
my feet were much better but it was a little swollen.
i can walk like a normal person now.

to those who wished me:
thank you very much!

to his mom and dad:
thanks for being there and supporting me.
i know i can depend on both of you.

to my family:
thank you for coming down and be there.
especially my parents.
both of you being there pushed me a little more.
thanks for bringing me to the world to experience such love.
i love you ma, pa.

darling,
thanks.
you're my pillar of strength.
i love you.

"and these are the moments i thank god that i'm alive.
and these are the moments i'll remember all my life.
i've got all i've waited for and i could not ask for more."