nuts!

i am going bonkers!
i may have a higher level of blood pressure for today!
my tolerance level is running low.

all i need is a very good weekend break without having much to do.
but i'm afraid not.
i will be having another retreat this weekend.

one factor that contribute to such stress is:
my phone is having some problems recieving and sending smses!
it is lagging....
i dislike it when i can't have things under my control.
argh!

and just a while ago,
i had an online discussion about the children's carnival.
so many things that has yet to be settled!

my mind is whirling too fast that i can't catch up!

thankfully there is the partner to hear me babble my incorrect state of mind.
he's almost the same situation as i am.
we had to console one another to be sane back.
the more we shared,
the better we felt.

all i want for tonight is a peaceful sleep.
and to dream of my sweetheart.
not the neighbour to karaoke at this period of time, mind you it's midnight!

hun,
have a very good rest and i shall see you this sunday perhaps.
i soooooooooo miss you!
when i talked to you,
the pile of stress just disappear.

missing the partner.

strangely,
i woke up tired in the morning and felt a little giddy.
perhaps it's the pillow that i was using.
the whole day of school today was nothing special.
it was just that i went back to my old routine,
to take a nap in the library.
=]

i never like going home during the peak hours.
because it means that i have to squeeze in the train and was forced to look at someone as there isn't any other place to look.
thankfully,
it's only twice a week when i am caught in such situation.

as what i texted the partner,
"i've starting to miss you not that i've not been missing you."
i really miss him.
the journey to school and back home,
i kept thinking about him.
even at times in lectures.
what causes it?

i realised that i won't be seeing the partner until next week,
because both of us are busy with our own stuffs.
well,
i guess it will be fine as i will be seeing him on chinese new year with his parents to go malaysia for another family outing.

it's not as if i haven't been in love,
but this love that we have is undeniably exclusive.
and i never want it to be lost.
it's to be treasured so that we have a lot of stories to tell our future generations.
and all i know is that he has make me into a much better individual.

sweetheart,
thanks for showering me with your love.

his d&d

why did i slept late yesterday?
because i got home late.
where did i go?
to accompany the partner for his dinner & dance.

the theme was back to school.
and we were all dressed up for school.
=)

we had our own badge.


the partner was nominated for one of the school dudes.
haha!!
i had a very good time laughing looking at him on stage!
he had to perform 30 seconds of pole dance.
he was reluctant that he even cover his face with his hands.
but he did the task,
by swaying his hips!
hahha!
what a memorable night.



the schooling couple.






honey,
you're my boy who i can't stop adoring!

to him.

it's late.
and i should be in bed sleeping.

before i do that,
i just wanna say....

sweetheart,
thanks!
i really enjoyed your company.
i love to see smiles on your face.
a happiness that's priceless.
you have brought in so much joy in my life,
thanks baby.
i love you.

the day i met him again.

the day i met him again was yet another happy day.
=D

the partner brought me to a new place to try out.
good meal but the burger wasn't recommended.
the patties weren't up to our expectations.



we had a very good time together.
we tuition kids, we drove around trying to find some place, we played ping pong and pool, we joked around.
fun-ness!
thanks baby!

mutalib dearest,
i cherish you.
i need you.
i love you.

2nd round

a new song.
i read the lyrics
and i smiled to myself.
such nice, sweet lyrics.

I've looked for love in stranger places,
but never found someone like you.
Someone whose smile makes me feel
I've been holding back,
and now there's nothing I can't do.

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

All of our friends saw from the start.
So why didn't we believe it too?
Whoa yeah, now look where we are.
You're in my heart now.
And there's no escaping it for you.

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

Walking on the hills that night with those fireworks and candlelight
You and I were made to get love right

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

'Cause you are the sun in my universe,
considered the best when we've felt the worst
and most of all it's built to last.

the audition earlier was okay.
they did asked some tough questions.
i had to take a long pause before answering it.
haha.
the prizes are so tempting that i hope to get through.

before we head to the audition,
we had our beach road's waffles and gelare!


sweetheart,
thanks for accompanying me hor.
i shall see you in a while.
our relationship is built to last.
:)
it is real.

love is such a beauty.


i love you my silly partner!
i'm sorry but i still can't get enough of you!
it makes me crazy every time when i think of you.
thanks for making time for me even though you're busy with work.
i know you're making an effort darling.

i love our happiness.
being with you is the most rewarding thing in my life.
i can never have a better chemistry, connection and telepathy with anyone else.
you're the chosen one.

good news!

*skips*
happy sha la la la...
received a very good news in the morning!
i got through the next round of the audition.
frankly,
it's kinda exciting.
i didn't expect to go through because i thought i screwed it up.
while i stood up and spoke to the three interviewers,
at the side there was a video camera recording my every move ever since i entered the room.
how can i remain relaxed?
but alhamdulillah, i managed to get to the next round.

i have no idea what they are expecting this time round.
confidence, elegant and eloquent?
just wait and see.

let's hope for the best!

oh sweetheart,
let us have greatS time together!
in my lifetime, i doubt i can say enough 'i love you' to you.
all that matters is that you know how deep is my love for you.

red roses!

i was just lying on the sofa in the room when i heard a door bell.
thinking it was my sister coming home from school,
i took no notice of it.
until i heard a familiar message tone from outside.
puzzled,
i got up from the sofa.
that was when i saw him!
the partner was smiling from afar.
upon seeing him, i beamed.

what made me speechless was he was holding a bouquet of roses!
my brain finally get the message: he came over to send me flowers!
even though the roses were at their simplest,
i really appreciate it darling.
i rather he don't waste $$$$ on expensive bouquet.
once, i told him to just get me flowers, leaves, ribbons and wrapping paper,
because i will be happy to decorate it for myself.
=)








mutalib dearest,
that was really sweet of you.
you left me speechless.
just three words that i mean it,
i love you!
thanks baby!

you are the love of my life.

i am back!

i am baacccckkk!

how was your weekend guys?
i hope it was a good time for you guys to rejuvenate.

the retreat was alright.
and that was the first time i step inside a karaoke room!
and sang song!
hahaha.
it was funny lahh.
the chalet at chervons was alright, kinda small.
overall, it was a relaxing retreat.
barbeque, played bowling, ate at bali thai.
fyi,
i hate to barbeque but that night i didn't have much choice,
because most of the people were chatting.
and there were so much food to be barbeque.
everytime when there is a barbeque event,
you would definitely see me sitting quite a distant from the barbeque pit eating,
the only time i would only approach the pit is when i want to take food.

after so so long of not seeing the partner,
i got to see him on sunday!
how glad i am to see him!
while he was concentrating on the road, he had his right hand holding my hand and rubbing his thumb against my skin.
that actions he always do never fails to cheer me up.
followed him to see him soccering,
afterwhich we had dinner together with his parents.
i had a good time sharing with him my thoughts, my feelings, my views.

by the time i reached home today,
i was really tired till i took a nap.
but then again,
i've promise my mom that we'll go to the gym tonight.
and so we did.
haha.
she was so excited about it and even recommend mama in to go.

and now,
i'm missing the partner badly.

sweetheart,
you are my best companion.
i always love you hun!

cdec retreat.

i had a massage together with the partner's mom.
and my butt hurts.

i will be away for a retreat.
to get to know the cdec member much better.
let's hope it's enjoyable.

so readers,
be good.

and to you darling,
thanks for the mushroom soup and that warm embrace.

a tribute for my late grandma.

this post is for my late grandma.

jamaliah binte md som
1934 - 2008

innalillah.

supaya allah s.w.t. mencucuri rohnya.

she passed away peacefully at approximately 1320hrs.
she was my dad's mother but i didn't managed to get much of her love.
but i know she loved me and wanted the best for me.

all i can do is to make her proud.

i am going to miss her.
and my first day of raya wouldn't be the same again.
she will always remain in my heart and mind.

and honey,
thanks for coming and read the yaasin with me.
i really appreciate it.

the day when i didn't have class

i am tired.
.....
....
...
..
.

and i am still tired.

i woke up having tears flowing on my cheeks and sobbing.
because a few minutes ago,
i was in a nightmare that i wouldn't wish to happen.
what i learnt from it was everyone needs support and love (be it from family, friends, romantic partner, etc)

and so while i didn't have any classes yet on tuesday,
i met up with my girls.
they accompanied me for an auditon.
and we had a fun catching up session!

the both of us were listening attentively.








it was raining heavily that we had to take a cab.


we had lunch at my favourite fast food (not mcdonals)
and afterwhich we had desserts and warming down session at mcdonalds.

suliza had hot chocolate.


shikin had her brownie.


while i have my tea!

no school for tomorrow and friday.

weee..

let's hope that my body will be refresh by a massage with the partner's mom this friday.

and baby,
my heart keeps missing you.

first day of second semester

the first day of school has been tiring!
i have 2 lectures today with a 2 hours break.
halfway through the afternoon lecture, i almost doze off.
thank goodness there were chocolates and a bottle of green tea to keep me awake.

i think of home, especially my bed while on the journey home.
i am really tired and sleepy.
and true enough,
once i get home,
i slept.

i won't be having classes on tuesday yet.

so the next school day is wednesday with no breaks.
from 12-6.
i may need stuffs to help me stay awake.
darling, you sponser?
haha.

the traffic in the morning was bad while sending his dad to the hospital for the checkup.
saw a chained accident that consists of about 8 vehicles.
wasn't that terrible but imagine the total costs involve.
managed to have lunch with the partner and his dad during the 2 hours break.
afterwhich the partner sent me to school.

and i need my rest now.
goodnight readers!

sweetheart,
you are my good luck charm.
(:

a nice sunday.

and
makes us a happy couple!

as he was unwell,
i went to fetch him and we had the above.

afterwhich, went over to his house to discuss with his parents regarding his dad another round of check up on monday.
before i head to school, i shall head over to his house to have the car to fetch his dad and send him.
while he's at the hospital,
i'll just be nearby attending lecture.
after lecture, will send his dad home and i will head back to school for another lecture.
what an interesting first day of school!

atirah: honey, i got to go.
mutalib: wait lah, i want to talk to you. stay for a little while.
(:

we talked.
transformed his transformer
and we talked.
and we realised we have the same scar on our left leg, at the same area.
oh how cool
haha!

then he took paper and pen.
and he brought up the 'W' and 'S' topic.
i was quite surprised because i didn't expect that 2 topics.
he started jotting down some stuffs.

we have so many beautiful ideas.
so what were the 'W' and 'S'?
Wedding and Savings!
we were discussing intenstly how we want it, where we want it, savings, etc.
as if we were getting married soon.
i can't deny it brought a smile on my face.
i knew he was excited about it too from the look of his face, the way he sounded and that sparkle in his eyes which reminded me of a kid talking about his favourite toy.
insyaAllah, in years to come,
we are able to execute our plans.
(:

i really wanted to stay up all night long talking to him.

but it was getting late.

i never had a long conversation over the phone with him.

normally when we call, we just roughly update about our day, to hear one another voice, to express our misses, etc.

never those late nights long chat.

but i don't mind.
because having him in front of me, being able to admire the way he talks and explains to me some stuffs made it much more worthwhile.

we connect at a more deeper level.

sweetheart,
you make me smile all the time.

i just love you!

tired.

i had trouble waking up.
and i felt tired and weak.
i have no idea why.

):

the partner is falling ill.

telepathy?

get well soon baby!
shall see you in a little while for ice cream!

bidding.

i log in my email to realise that i've got the modules i bid for.
what's even better?
i only have to go to school on monday and wednesday.
(:
but that haven't include the tutorials which will starts a few weeks later.
i am aiming to have my friday free.

surprisingly,
i haven't been shopping for weeks, or perhaps months.
of course it will be nice to have new clothes, bags, shoes, accessories.
but i'm coping fine without shopping.
that is the different between working and schooling.

i think i know how time flies.
when it's the starting of the week,
all you look forward is friday.
because weekend means fun!
it's a cycle.
and after 4 weeks, a months has pass by.

ok lame,
i'm sure most of you have figured that out.
i am just slow.

darl,
i love your love.

driver.

sorry readers for not updating.
i've been busy visiting the hospital since yesterday.
all because the partner's dad had to go through an eye operation.

alhamdullilah the operation went well.
it was a day surgery so he was discharged within that day.

so what am i doing there?
well, there are 3 good reasons.
1. i am concern about him. he's the partner's dad and in years to come, he will become my dad-in-law. his parents, my parents. my parents, his parents.
2. to accompany both the partner and his mom and ensure them that nothing's gonna happened.
3. the partner's has some unfinished work thus i was needed to be the driver.

even though it was a manual car (which i am soooooo not used to it)
my driving was alright.
reached all the destination safely.
don't worry, i wasn't the road hogger who slows down the other cars.
=D

at the end of the day,
the partner send me home and we had dinner over at my house.


one of our favourite dessert!


today his dad has a check up and i offered to accompany him.
again, i had to drive their car.
so it was just me and his dad.
it wasn't that awkward as i've expected.
we did talk and it was alright.
and today really tested my patience.
thank goodness i didn't burst out screaming my frustrations.
i kept my calm and remain cool
because i get to watch muted golden girls on tv (which i laughed to myself) and there were many choices of magazines to read from.
and i haven't had my breakfast.

after the 3 hours ordeal,
fetched the partner from work and we had lunch at my parents' stall.
(:

after a few hours of resting,
the partner needed my help.
he asked to design an invitation for his retreat.
i accepted it as i enjoyed doing it.
lucky you darling!
oh yar, the next time, i'll charged you a nominal fee.
haha!

so that was what basically happened for the past 2 days.
i am trying to enjoy my remaining holidays before school starts.

honey,
i lup lup you many many!
ok bye!

designing

i realised i like designing,
be it poster, invitation card and even editing pictures.
but please don't ask me to draw.

well well,
the photoshop module that was allocated to all horticulture and landscape management students in poly wasn't wasted at all.
definitely i can't all that the teacher taught but with trial and error i got it.
i felt satisfied whenever the end result is something i love.
(:

the birthday invitation card i did. (click on the image to enlarge it)


the compilation of pictures.


poster for 6th term.


eng wah had a competition; to design a gift card.

too bad my design wasn't chosen.
haha.

but it was a good experience experimenting the different effects,
the colours, the designs, the fonts, etc.

i did the layout for my blog.
i will only redesign it once i know what i really want cause i am very fickle.
haha.

the partner has asked me to help him out with a poster for his event.
fun!

i got a call that i had to go for an audition next week.
it was for the one that i had to send in my full body photograph.
let's hope it will go on smoothly.

i have one mission to do for us.
only the partner knows what it is.
(:

estya's, nunu, beach

happy 21st birthday estya!
a great fun loving close friend to hang out with!
she is the most patience lady that i ever known.
i really admire her for that.
stay strong and one fine day, insyaAllah you will be rewarded.
do remember that i always try to be available for you!

and today,
i have a date with nunu.
she wanted to celebrate my belated birthday.
when i met her, she was a little depressed as her initial plans were ruined.
she told me about it, all i can do was to smile.
such a nice and thoughtful plan.


lunch courtesy of her.


my favourite cake! (once i have this, i would stop talking so as to indulge in the chocolate!)


and lastly,
she handed me a carebear!
a present shared by ily, iza, humairah and her.
thank you guys!
i love it!

thanks sweetie for the day out!
(:
see you when school reopens!

my weekend has been fantastic!
yesterday,
the partner and i followed mama in, papa 2 and the kids to the beach!

it was truly fun to be a kid with the partner!
we played in the rain as it rained for a little while.
we chase one another on the sand.
we tried to destroy the opponent territory by using sand.
we swam in the sea filled with seaweeds.

see the girl in between us?
that was fatin.

overgrown kids.

atiqah with her fake smile.


school is starting next week!
haiyamak!
i dread the many, many stairs to climb!

baby,
when there's you,
everything changes.

i can't stop myself from reading your love messages.

our 2nd.

the past few days i had a mission.

with the help of this,


and this cloth,


i made another coin pouch for the partner!


my handmade card.


happy anniversary card.


made sincerely from the heart.


we had dinner and watched a late night movie on friday.
avp2.
well, some scenes were illogical.
but the effects and the way it gets our heart to beat extra fast was good.





and saturday,
he had soccer,
accompanied him and we head to popeyes for dinner.

i had like 2 hours to kill because it was drizzling and i wouldn't have a dry place to sit on.
i sat in the car and reflect on life.
(:

dinner time!




we were in the car on the way home when we started to talk about drama serials.
we got hooked till we didn't go home right away.
we've reached at his carpark and we sat in the car and continue chatting.
we talked mostly about our childhood days, school, games, work, soccer, drama serials, wedding, our future.
and we had a good couple time.
all we know, about 2.5 hours has gone past.
we can still go on but we save it for the future time together.
i can foresee us sitting down and just talk when we were old.
(:

i did have a memorable anniversary.
thanks baby for your company.

you are all that i ever needed.

happy 2nd baby.

happy 2nd baby!

on this fateful date, 2 years back,
we were having lunch, afterwhich i took out pieces of paper with sudoku printed on it.
and that darling, brought us together.
while we were busy figuring out what numbers to fit in the respective squares, deep inside, we knew we wanted each other but we were afraid of history repeating.
but came a sudden move that clasped your hand together with mine followed by the peck.
and that actions secured us.
we knew what we wanted was right.

since then you baby, are the one who always filled my mind.
the past 2 years was a gift and with you, my every day is a gift.
i know we both have gone through so much and i never regret every minute of it.
in spite of those fights we had were for us to improve ourselves to be a better lover, we have much more pleasant memories together.

this is the longest relationship i have with anyone.
let's add on to the years.
and i want it to stay that way.

never a day, i went through a day without seeing our pictures.
because looking at our pictures gives me such unexplainable happiness that makes me feel grateful.

i know i have found my soul mate.
sweetheart, thanks for loving me the way i want to be loved.
keep on rocking my life baby!

i love you.

*hugs&tickles&kisses*