fun and stress.

when do i know that i am having too much fun?
is it when i am unable to answer the exams questions?
but i believe i have placed in my best on revising.

how do you balance fun and work?
by the hours?
or is it by the quality of output?
what is a balance?
i have no clue.

i am starting to feel guilty about not placing in much effort in my studies.
but how much is much?
because i know my mind can't take it anymore.
everything has a limit.

and i start blaming it on luck.
you get what i mean?
like some chapters you study really hard but it didn't come out?

my dad fetched me after the exams today.
and he was consoling me about not to worry about what had happened.
yes i was being far fetched.
he was telling me how he did in school and how he have a happy life.
and he pat and rub my head and said "you know what? i am proud of you."
thank you pa.
he knows that i didn't have a smooth ride.
to know that he knows and he even acknowledged it made me glad.
i wonder how my dad can have an easy going life while his daughter is worried at her every move.
i really want to be carefree,
but would that time even come?
i fear of everything.
why?

i know life can never be easy.
there are some things that i will need to sacrifice.

i am not naturally smart.
i had to work really hard to get where i am now,
to prove people that they were wrong about me.
there was a moment in my life that i feel like a failure,
with people looking down on me.
my family has been a great support.
now that i've reached here,
i won't give up.
and the next thing that follows is to find a job.
a stable job so that i can start helping out my parents financially and start saving $$$$ for marriage.

i really hope that god will support my plans,
if He doesn't, please just make me stronger.
but He always have surprises for us right?

what do we have to work hard on earth?
because of a good life?
because of money?
what happened when we have attain it?
are we still happy?

in the process of growing up,
i am still finding my inner source of happiness.
how do i make myself happy?

this post is a little jumbled up and not quite right.
i think i should start making myself to bed.

honey,
i am glad to have you to go through anything with me.
thank you for making my life a fun-ner life.
you warmed up my heart,
because without you,
i would be so critical and cold.
you are the start of the difference in my life.

the good news.

my first paper was horrible.
second one is this evening.
since it's open book let's hope the books can help me out when i'm stuck.

just 2 days ago,
the partner shared a piece of good news to me.
and of course as it was a good news,
both of us were really pleased.
i know he can never be more happier.
=)

i don't really know what to blog this past few days.
my mind has been crammed with revision notes that i can't afford to think of any other things that require lots of reasoning and thinking.

and the partner has been such a great help.
=)

no matter how hard things get,
the best thing to do is to start appreciating things.

honey,
i wish to see you every day.

filled with love, all because of you.

i have the urge to blog about what i am experiencing now.
it is very intense that i have no idea how to release it apart from blogging.

i feel like my heart is filled with so much love.
and that makes the partner on my mind.

honey,
it's all you.

lovely saturday for ice cream and henderson waves!

excuse me for my absence.
i was on revision mode.

for the past few months,
i have been going to school not listening to any songs.
why?
because i have no idea where i've placed my ipod nano (yes, it was the gift that the partner gave it to me 3 years ago).
and i never told him about my missing ipod nano.
when i got back from a meet up with the partner,
i saw my pink covered ipod nano on my desk!
i was thankful to my sister who found it!
after 7 months apart,
finally i reconciled back with my ipod!


i've managed to take a break on saturday,
to meet up with the partner.

i have to tell you,
i wasn't in the correct state of mind.
i was going through a stressful period of time.
however, the partner was really nice even though he himself doesn't have a good start to his day.

our first stop was to the pukka ice cream store near my school.
we were curious about the shop because we often passed it,
but today,
we decided to check it out.

see the ice cream?
it was so much!
3 huge spoons for only $6.50!
it was interesting to see the ice cream being mixed with caramel, waffles bits, pistachio and whipping cream!
and it was the first time we couldn't finish an ice cream together.
haha!

the partner then introduced me to some new things to try.
some instant chicken food from 7-11.
and we had some farting moments in the car.

next up,
we went here.

the southern ridges,
to the henderson waves!
it was our first time exploring the place.
and it was quite a sight!



and i brought along uno stacko for the two of us to challenge.

it was more tougher to play at 60 plus metres above sea level because of the wind and also whenever people walk passed, the wooden planks vibrate.
we never want to lose to one another,
and we gave our full attention to ensure that the stacks doesn't topple.

and out of 5 games,

it was game over for me.

we were at 74.88m above sea level.


those who haven't go here should try checking this place out.
nothing much but it has a stunning view.




and the 2 smelly people went off to vivo city to jalan-jalan.
we had a fun time at giant hypermarket choosing what to buy.
=)
and we had satay and sugarcane for dinner.

the end result of the date?
i hurt my lower back when the partner and i were tickling each other.
apart from that,
i really, really, really enjoyed myself!

i brought up a new way to resolve our 'unhappiness'
let's hope it will help out.
haha!
mike and angela's helpline.

i am really happy to be with the partner.

what makes me calmer was to express what was in my mind,
all of it to the partner.
it's like magic when my worries just disappear!
and i believe that makes the both of us closer to one another emotionally.

honey,
thank you so much for today!
i had a great time laughing and talking to you.
i love you sweetheart.

revision

revision today wasn't good,
i wasn't productive and often stray from my concentration.
one moment i would like to take a drink, after that go toilet, then this lah, that lah.
aiyah.
self-discipline is hard.
i shall make up for the lack of revision later on.
since the students were given free milo packets for our exams welfare pack,
i shall have it to boost me!

but the problem with me is that i'm scared to study at night.
don't ask me why i am such a coward.
perhaps a lively imagination causes me to be extra sensitive to my surroundings.
and i never sleep alone,
oh wait i don't mind taking a nap alone in the afternoon though.

the partner and i watched knowing on monday since i was already at his house as i've finished tuition.
the show was hard to comment,
oh wait,
i remembered,
spooky.
after the show,
the lady behind me was commenting to her boyfriend "tak logic ah"
upon hearing that the partner and i gave that look and smile all the way.
yes,
in some way,
i have to agree with her,
it is kinda illogical but in a movie,
anything can happen.
to sum it up,
knowing is a mixture of scientific and religious aspects.

i had a short chat with the partner before he doze off just now.
and he made me smile like an idiot!
all because he said "honey, i want to see you tomorrow."
i asked why?
he replied "because i miss you"
and we had some laugh about something.

alright,
tomorrow,
i shall make 2 hours for the partner for i have revision to do.

oh no!
american idol is tomorrow.
more time wasted!
anyway i am excited to see what the contestants have for us!
my favourite is danny.
followed by kris, anoop, matt.

and what happened after my exams?
i have no idea.
i think i should find a job.
or perhaps catch up with my ngaji skills,
because i haven't master the quran yet.

these past few days i've been craving for sweets food!
i kept going to the kitchen and opening the fridge door hoping that are some magic going on so that whatever i craving for would just appear.
fat hope!
what am i thinking?

by the time you read this,
it is already 22nd april.
which is earth's day!
happy earth's day everyone!
try doing something for mother earth okay?
=)

now i shall make myself a cup of milo ice.

honey,
you've been in my mind all day long.

change

thank you honey.
we are both botak head.
=)

my sunday morning was spend revising on one module.
together with my sisters and the partner, in the afternoon went over to mama in's house for belajar.
in the evening, accompanied the partner for soccer.
dinner and a great laughing time with the partner at night!

why am i online?
to earn $$$$ in parking wars!

from what ustaz said just now,
i was motivated to have a good heart.
it's not that i don't have a good heart,
i know that there are still some portion in me that can be change to become a better well-being.
can i achieved that?
can i be that be someone who just ignore what ever people say about me?
can i accept that things happened for a reason?
can i just take it easy?
can i not judge people by their appearances?
can i not be moody?

i will try and make sure i succeed,
even though it may take me years.
i know i want to change.
insyaallah,
god will lead me the way.

i guess i would like to turn in now.

honey,
your insane girlfriend will change into a more calmer person.
when that happens,
your life will be much more easier.
haha.
i love you.

tokyo disneyland.

tokyo disneyland!!

i miss that place already!
there's something about that place.
it made me feel young and happy.
the partner felt that way too.
and we have decided to bring our kids there.
insyaallah.

with time constraint,
we only went to disneyland.
perhaps the next time around,
disneysea.


the not-yet family portrait.


and we saw a cute mickey bus.


and this my friends,
is the hotel.
they have different themes for the rooms.
i didn't stay here but next time perhaps.




dumbo.






the partner and his dad having a fun time playing with the instruments!


we took a ride in the 'boat' to experience a jungle, safari feel.
the place was nicely decorated with animals planted at different locations.


this ice cream was fanstatic!




and we took a bigger boat that went one round.


the focus is at the blooming flowers!


and we came to toontown!




of course,
waffles shouldn't be missed!


there were so many rides that kept us entertained.
we were too busy queuing and taking the rides that we forget to take much pictures.
haha.
we surely had a blast!

the view at night.


and the next day,
we leave for singapore.
=)
=(

i would like to thank again the people who made the japan trip possible.
the ones who voted for us in let love be your muse contest.
thank guys!
god will reward those who help.
=)

the japan trip was a good chance for us to take a break before our exams.
we managed to distress by exploring and appreciating new things.
the trip enables me to appreciate the partner more and bond me with his parents.
and it hits me,
i miss my family.
my mom, dad, grandma, sisters, brother.
soon,
i will be leaving them to start my own family.
whatever it is,
they will always remain in my heart.
i love them.

back in singapore,
that night itself,
we ate sushi together with my sisters!




look at the amount of green we left behind.


now that chewy junior in jurong point has open,
i foresee going there often.
haha!

and yesterday,
at 11pm,
i was still in school with the partner.


he had to finish up his essay while i had to photocopy some stuffs.
we left school past midnight and had supper together.

now,
back to revision.

honey,
i'm more than happy to be with you.

the other days

the subsequent days we went to harajuku, asakusa and to a mosque in shibuya.
how do we travel?
by trains.
they have 3 different train operators,
with so many colourful lines.
you will be confused if you see it.
i'll wait for the partner to upload his picture of the lines.
even though it was confusing,
we didn't get lost.
*ehem*
we are street smart.
hahahah!

this is their version of bugis street,
harajuku.

it was packed with people and i didn't get any clothes from japan.
i think it's not worth it.
it's much more expensive compare to singapore.

and there's daiso.


as we walk down the streets,
we came across a beautiful park.


the sakura flowers

it was very peaceful.

asakusa has a lot of sounvenirs.
but that wasn't the main attraction of the place.






the main attraction was the temple.
but i didn't bother to get close to the temple.


read the label below

wild health.
haha!

and we came across ponyo!

and the partner bought for me the plush toy.
haha!

his parents wanted to visit a mosque in japan and thank goodness we found it.
it was so grand!
too bad that i didn't go in.
the partner was describing how beautiful the interior was.


while we were at harajuku,
there were long queues for crepes.
and that night,
we decided to hunt for crepes around our neighbourhood.

and
*ta-da!*

papa crepe saves the day!






you can see me grinning in the picture above.
all because i can't wait to taste it!
and we are glad that we found it after walking so long!

also,
we tried the starbuck's new york cheesecake!
simple yummy!


the hotel's free internet connection enables me to chat with my family members back in singapore.
and i am so glad to see their faces and hear their voices.


even though the hotel room was small,
it was cozy.
i had a fun time sharing it with his mom and talking about random things.

this is a view from my hotel room.

just imagine if there were flowers blooming.
ahhhh....
an incredible sight.

the next update will be on disneyland!
=)

honey,
you make me feel significant.