when do i know that i am having too much fun?
is it when i am unable to answer the exams questions?
but i believe i have placed in my best on revising.
how do you balance fun and work?
by the hours?
or is it by the quality of output?
what is a balance?
i have no clue.
i am starting to feel guilty about not placing in much effort in my studies.
but how much is much?
because i know my mind can't take it anymore.
everything has a limit.
and i start blaming it on luck.
you get what i mean?
like some chapters you study really hard but it didn't come out?
my dad fetched me after the exams today.
and he was consoling me about not to worry about what had happened.
yes i was being far fetched.
he was telling me how he did in school and how he have a happy life.
and he pat and rub my head and said "you know what? i am proud of you."
thank you pa.
he knows that i didn't have a smooth ride.
to know that he knows and he even acknowledged it made me glad.
i wonder how my dad can have an easy going life while his daughter is worried at her every move.
i really want to be carefree,
but would that time even come?
i fear of everything.
why?
i know life can never be easy.
there are some things that i will need to sacrifice.
i am not naturally smart.
i had to work really hard to get where i am now,
to prove people that they were wrong about me.
there was a moment in my life that i feel like a failure,
with people looking down on me.
my family has been a great support.
now that i've reached here,
i won't give up.
and the next thing that follows is to find a job.
a stable job so that i can start helping out my parents financially and start saving $$$$ for marriage.
i really hope that god will support my plans,
if He doesn't, please just make me stronger.
but He always have surprises for us right?
what do we have to work hard on earth?
because of a good life?
because of money?
what happened when we have attain it?
are we still happy?
in the process of growing up,
i am still finding my inner source of happiness.
how do i make myself happy?
this post is a little jumbled up and not quite right.
i think i should start making myself to bed.
honey,
i am glad to have you to go through anything with me.
thank you for making my life a fun-ner life.
you warmed up my heart,
because without you,
i would be so critical and cold.
you are the start of the difference in my life.
