right at this moment,
i can't comprehend my thoughts and feelings.
i feel like i'm dead.
when history catches up with me,
before my eyes get watery, i divert my attention to something else.
so this is what to be said when the past haunts you.
i need extra support.
and time to lessen the pain.
but with it, can i really let go?
i hope all of my readers won't have to go through what i am/had to go through.
it's too painful.
and please readers,
never hurt another soul.
because once you 'killed' them,
it might be too late to ask for forgiveness because things can never return back to normal.
i can never go back to normal as much as i want to.
seriously,
i am afraid that i might become mentally ill.
i have debates within my own mind to be strong.
while typing this out,
i am trying hard not to tear.
i sound like a troubled person.
haha.
maybe i am.
i even considered visiting the counselling centre.
but can they even help?
because no matter what they say,
it all lies in me.
god,
help me through.
i am going to get better given time.
=)
no way,
i am going to fail His challenges.
i know i can do it!
anyway,
let me think of the happy moments i have earlier for 20 aug 09.
i had a feel good conversation.
the longest conversation and i actually enjoyed it.
