another question by a reader

may tagged me with a question,
"hi babe, do you think a big age gap will affect a r/s?"

it's an interesting question which i have no experience in it but i've seen it with my own eyes,
the best example is my parents.
11 years apart.
and they are still holding on strong, loving each other and being there for one another.
it seems like they are like any other couples, no difference.
i am amazed at how they are able to work it out despite the big age gap.

to answer your question,
i have to say,
it depends on the couple.
some may be affected while others may not.

i did some thinking and i think the answer depends on the stage of their life, their needs and their maturity.
maslow's hierarchy of needs came to my mind.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_Hierarchy_of_Needs
do a take a look to have a clearer picture of what maslow's hierarchy of needs is about.
as you can see after achieving one level of needs, you will go on to achieve the next level until you reach the self-actualization.
love and belonging is level 3.
i don't really agree totally on it but i can use it to explain to you.

you have to know the other party needs and see whether it is similar like yours.
for example,
man : 34 years
woman : 22 years

for the man who is 34 years old,
by then he is financially stable (which falls under the safety level),
so according to maslow's hierarchy of needs,
he ought to proceed to the next level which is love/belonging stage.
on top of that, i'm sure that his friends are probably married and his friends might share with him about marriage.
thus he yearns for a for a wife to bear him children.

for the woman who is of 22 years of age,
she might be struggling in the safely level,
and she might not feel and think that it's the time for her to commit.
her mindset is still not fixed to marriage yet,
she might still want to explore the world, different men, etc.

but some women of her age is already looking for love,
this kind of women are looking for a husband to provide her security.

thus for the second group of women might have less problems being with the man who is much older than her.
because their aims are similar,
to find a wife,
to find a husband.

how about the mindset you might ask,
that's when understanding and respect comes in.
you might need to know why he/she thinks or feels that way and respect each other views.

so to answer your question,
the couple need to know their needs and do not think that whenever they argue it's always because of the age gap but know that every couple argue and are bound to have disagreements.
if you both are willing to work it out and hold on,
i can't give you guarantee but i think you both can last.

i hope i have given you the answer that you seek may.
if you have any other question,
do tag me again.
=)