That unsettling feeling

Life lesson #348

It has been months since I have this unsettled feeling that has been bugging me.

It is about my faith.

No, I am not converting nor will I ever do that.

Islam is beautiful and it is a way of life.

It gives me a sense of calmness, peace within myself.

However, there is this one task that I have yet to achieve; donning the hijab.

I made myself a vow to don the hijab by 30 years old.

Somehow I feel, see and think that there is a need to don it earlier.

There's a strong urge for me,

for the right reasons.

I understand that once I don the hijab,

my character must try to live up to a Muslim lady.

I have a vision for myself,

I can even see myself being that particular kind of lady. 

I know insya'Allah I can be that lady.

However, there is always something about the first move,

well, every first move is hard.

It make me nervous as well.

I salute those ladies who don the hijab,

they have a lot of confidence to pull it off.

Some have good character and even make me ashamed of myself. 

I have been listening to Yusuf Estes's lecture and somehow it encouraged me to be close to Allah swt.

"You got to give up some of the things in this world so that you'll get your share in the next world" - Yusuf Estes.

I hope when I finally make the first move,

it won't be too late.

Now, I gotta start shopping for shawls (for myself) and appropriate clothing.