h0pE

wednesday, my dearest lecturer gave us a surprise quiz on parts of the chloroplasts. i was doomed as i didn't revise the notes. this was the first and hopefully the last time i felt so helpless, so handicapped. it seems that time was an eternity. my mind was blank because 1) i didn't revise. 2) i do pay attention in last week's lecture but my memory is not good and 3) sakeenah has my notes. well, the third reason is just an excuse, i could just went to the net to find information about the topic. i felt totally like a failure and kept blaming myself for not revising. i hate that feeling. and because of the quiz, it spoils my day until the lecturer said she's not going to record down the marks. it was indeed a sigh of relief! she said it was a wake up call. man, i seriously need to make time for revision.
had meeting after class and you had something on too. i was really hoping that we could go home together. and boy i was glad for that sms. i was just looking forward for the meeting to end and to see you. thanks for waiting. *smiles*
15th june 2005, a wednesday night to remember. cause it's a night i have lots of fun goofing around. and i can't imagine we're vain. *shakes head* really vain. shan't go into details. *grins* and thanks for the new collection. time was moving really fast when i'm with you. and i wish that night didn't end. it's still fresh in my mind. i truly, madly, deeply enjoyed your company. thanks for that night.

thursday, joanna smsed saying she's heading to school with joseph. so i was like ok, i'll be going to school alone. until i received your sms. haha. *smiles* and yes, the three of us have a partner. don't get me wrong, me and sakeenah are still single. haha. it's just that both of us, happened to have a very close guy friend. seeing you in the morning is always a boost to my day.
school ended at 1300hrs and head to the library with joanna to finish up our assignments and do some revision as we are having a test on friday. my grandma is at home and i don't think i'm able to concentrate cause she will switch on the tv. haha. apart from that, it's because i wanted to go back with you.
you wasn't yourself and don't worry i understand. i truly understand.

friday, head to school again with you. i felt mean that you didn't have breakfast at home. it was a surprise that you bought bread and we had our breakfast together. that's sweet and thoughful of you. thank you.
the test was doable, can pass. scoring wise, i dare not say. haha. during the 4 hours break, wasn't in the mood to do anything as you're occupying most of the space in my mind. went to the library to enjoy the environment and chatted with sakeenah, after which i had lunch with you.
had floorball training and surprisingly i shoot quite well during the drills. maybe it's just luck.
and i was worried for you. thank god you're fine.

saturday morning, i was supposed to meet sakeenah to see some archery competition, but she was too tired. well, i was tired too but i don't know i have the motivation. maybe because i'm going to see you. dialled my closed contacts, but they were soundly asleep, last resort, my sister. haha. waited anxiously for her return as she went to help out my mom. and about an hour of journey, we reached the destination. *smiles* it was great seeing you.
i don't regret coming down to see you. you looked so cool and professional shooting even though *ehem* you're a newbie. haha. it's my pleasure again. you're like a magnet, i can't stop myself from staring at you. haha.

my sister was asking me whether i'm going again, my reply was: if i see you in my dreams, i'll go. haha.
and before heading to bed, you asked if i'll come tomorrow. you said you won't hope but come on, it's human nature to hope. you hope that there will be a surprise correct? you hope somehow i'll be there.
my heart does wants to go but i'm not sure about my body. it's been lethargic.
i have made up my mind, and *drum rolls* i'll see you tomorrow. *winks*

these few days, i've been spending a lot of time with you until a few of people mistaken us as a couple. haha. and i have make clear to them that we're just friends. we head to school together, have lunch together, went back together. i would grab any opportunity just to see you and spend time with you. blood will be pumping to my face, my heartbeats will go haywire and a tingling feeling i will experience when i'm about to see you, or when i'm with you. do people usually feel this way? when you're beside me, the background seems to fade, other stuffs doesn't seem to matter. your existence is a blessing for me. when i'm happy, you're my catalyst. when i'm sad, you're my tranquilizer.

you are getting sweeter and i can't resist it. one close friend commented on us. he/she said you and i are friends but it seems that we're in a relationship and he/she said we're romantic. haha. i think he/she think too far.

word of the day: hope.