bL@nk...

i have nothing in mind to blog about. expect for you. as my mind is filled with you.

was just listening to some songs and this particular song popped out. and i'm experiencing how the writer was experiencing, all thanks to you.

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may I can never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best ....when you say nothing at all

All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd
Try as they may they could never define
What's been said between your heart and mine


haha. but i still expect you to talk *sticks out tongue* and yes, i miss you too. *hugs*

qu!e+en d0wn

just a short post for last week.

been able to spend 5 days a week with you is just something i couldn't ask for more. having you beside me just bring me warmness and something i can't explain. you never fail to make me smile and my day. thank you. i can't stop thinking about you. you are already part of my life. whenever you're not with me, i'm missing you. my heart longed for you.

*uoy evol i

h0pE

wednesday, my dearest lecturer gave us a surprise quiz on parts of the chloroplasts. i was doomed as i didn't revise the notes. this was the first and hopefully the last time i felt so helpless, so handicapped. it seems that time was an eternity. my mind was blank because 1) i didn't revise. 2) i do pay attention in last week's lecture but my memory is not good and 3) sakeenah has my notes. well, the third reason is just an excuse, i could just went to the net to find information about the topic. i felt totally like a failure and kept blaming myself for not revising. i hate that feeling. and because of the quiz, it spoils my day until the lecturer said she's not going to record down the marks. it was indeed a sigh of relief! she said it was a wake up call. man, i seriously need to make time for revision.
had meeting after class and you had something on too. i was really hoping that we could go home together. and boy i was glad for that sms. i was just looking forward for the meeting to end and to see you. thanks for waiting. *smiles*
15th june 2005, a wednesday night to remember. cause it's a night i have lots of fun goofing around. and i can't imagine we're vain. *shakes head* really vain. shan't go into details. *grins* and thanks for the new collection. time was moving really fast when i'm with you. and i wish that night didn't end. it's still fresh in my mind. i truly, madly, deeply enjoyed your company. thanks for that night.

thursday, joanna smsed saying she's heading to school with joseph. so i was like ok, i'll be going to school alone. until i received your sms. haha. *smiles* and yes, the three of us have a partner. don't get me wrong, me and sakeenah are still single. haha. it's just that both of us, happened to have a very close guy friend. seeing you in the morning is always a boost to my day.
school ended at 1300hrs and head to the library with joanna to finish up our assignments and do some revision as we are having a test on friday. my grandma is at home and i don't think i'm able to concentrate cause she will switch on the tv. haha. apart from that, it's because i wanted to go back with you.
you wasn't yourself and don't worry i understand. i truly understand.

friday, head to school again with you. i felt mean that you didn't have breakfast at home. it was a surprise that you bought bread and we had our breakfast together. that's sweet and thoughful of you. thank you.
the test was doable, can pass. scoring wise, i dare not say. haha. during the 4 hours break, wasn't in the mood to do anything as you're occupying most of the space in my mind. went to the library to enjoy the environment and chatted with sakeenah, after which i had lunch with you.
had floorball training and surprisingly i shoot quite well during the drills. maybe it's just luck.
and i was worried for you. thank god you're fine.

saturday morning, i was supposed to meet sakeenah to see some archery competition, but she was too tired. well, i was tired too but i don't know i have the motivation. maybe because i'm going to see you. dialled my closed contacts, but they were soundly asleep, last resort, my sister. haha. waited anxiously for her return as she went to help out my mom. and about an hour of journey, we reached the destination. *smiles* it was great seeing you.
i don't regret coming down to see you. you looked so cool and professional shooting even though *ehem* you're a newbie. haha. it's my pleasure again. you're like a magnet, i can't stop myself from staring at you. haha.

my sister was asking me whether i'm going again, my reply was: if i see you in my dreams, i'll go. haha.
and before heading to bed, you asked if i'll come tomorrow. you said you won't hope but come on, it's human nature to hope. you hope that there will be a surprise correct? you hope somehow i'll be there.
my heart does wants to go but i'm not sure about my body. it's been lethargic.
i have made up my mind, and *drum rolls* i'll see you tomorrow. *winks*

these few days, i've been spending a lot of time with you until a few of people mistaken us as a couple. haha. and i have make clear to them that we're just friends. we head to school together, have lunch together, went back together. i would grab any opportunity just to see you and spend time with you. blood will be pumping to my face, my heartbeats will go haywire and a tingling feeling i will experience when i'm about to see you, or when i'm with you. do people usually feel this way? when you're beside me, the background seems to fade, other stuffs doesn't seem to matter. your existence is a blessing for me. when i'm happy, you're my catalyst. when i'm sad, you're my tranquilizer.

you are getting sweeter and i can't resist it. one close friend commented on us. he/she said you and i are friends but it seems that we're in a relationship and he/she said we're romantic. haha. i think he/she think too far.

word of the day: hope.

ch@LLen9e5..

i'm still entangled in life's spider web. i try putting those thoughts aside, but they never failed to creep in slowly. to you, don't worry, i try not to think much. even in a mess, god is always fair and let me enjoy myself. there's always a balanced in life. for the past few days, well not the past few days, it's been the past few month, someone never fails to make my face flushed. even though not being able to see you today, my mind was filled with you. and my phone is seriously in need for spaces. i kept more than 200 of your messages. well, i may sound crazy, but's it's true. and again, you made my day by that sms you sent in the morning. thanks. nothing is able to describe how overjoyed i am. to reflect back, i never expect you to react the way you reacted. i'm glad it's a two way thing. it's seriously more than i could ask for. no matter what happens to us, you are already marked in my heart. only god knows how i feel for you. you influenced me a lot, really a lot. thank you.

floorball is great today! my attitude towards floorball has changed. instead of dreading it, i'm looking forward to it. i played quite ok today. well, i'm happy with my performance today. am proud of myself. haha. but still, there's a lot of room for improvements. am still eyeing for a place in ivp.

had fun with shikin yesterday. went out to watch the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy. oh man, i don't recommend that show. it's nonsense and lame. *smiles* thanks shikin for the treat. haha. book me out again. =P visited suliza. oh man, i miss you so much. do catch up soon! walked around and surveyed some wallets. guess wallets are mostly the same except it's in different designs. for roxy and ripcurl's wallets, it's kinda small. *ehem* i have lots of cards. so yeah, a bigger wallet is wise. haha. and to you, yes hopefully one fine day.

school's been ok. am coping well with it for now. hope it's able to sustain. haha.

and i miss driving the car around. 12th of July 2005 will be my practical test. i seriously want a pass for that. only then, i'm free to drive!

shikin, yes, you can come back and hopefully you're able to see someone. haha.

oh yes, i accidentally kissed sakeenah on her cheeks in the morning. sorry about that. haha. i'm straight.

*i miss you and i'm glad you dropped by. *grins*

sorry for those who dropped by to read my entries but didn't see any since 25 may. i'm sorry, it just that lots of stuffs been happening. sick, school, homework, floorball, families, friends and etc. just too much too mention. emotions has been haywire as well. things are never permanent. it are constanly changing, be it good or bad. stuffs happened to make your life more 'interesting'. seriously, i just don't know what i'm feeling or what should i be feeling. but nevertheless, i'll try to be strong to carry on with reality.

i was sick, maybe i'm still sick, but i'm getting better each day. a lot of people i know are sick.
well, do take lots of rest and drink plenty of plain drink.

school is getting on ok. am still adapting to it. homework has been piling and i've been procastinating. i'm in need to wake myself up.

floorball has been great! i'm enjoying myself everytime and am opening up slowly. the girls there are really supportive and understanding. thanks girls! the freshies seem to be a nice bunch of people. welcome to the floorball family! am really looking forward to next training. there's lots of competition for ivp placings. and looking at where i stand, i have to work extra hard in order to get in.

close friends and family members are giving me good advices, but in the end, it's me who still have to decide. and god, don't you forget i need your guidance too.