exactly a year ago, i was kinda surprised to receive a message in my friendster account.
dated 30 march 2005, it was from you.
viewed your account and realised there's no harm becoming friends. thus i replied to your message.
become a 'pen-pal' via the net for a while. haha.
i have no idea why but i'm always excited to read and reply your next message.
maybe you can say that's the flirting period.
and i got a minor crush on you. *oops* i bet you didn't know that.
there's several times when i'm chatting with you through msn, my mom happened to be beside me and she gave me tips on how to chat 'effectively'.
it was funny on how my mom and i had to compromise with each other on how to ask you questions.
when you suggested to meet up, it scared me.
cause i don't know what you may think of me.
and i can never forget 050505, the day when we watch kingdom of heaven.
i was so embarrassed.
not because that i did something silly.
it was because we wore similar navy jacket.
as if we're a couple.
people were looking and giving us weird stares.
and you needed help choosing a brooch for your mothers' day gift. haha.
and i happened to notice something about *ehem*
i'll skip that.
truly, i enjoyed myself.
after several dates.
i was kinda messed up.
was confused with what i was feeling, how i was feeling and why i felt that way.
and i really appreciate with you being supportive.
especially 2 am in the morning, when you held me closed.
the first time ever i cried in front of a guy.
you understood and gave me time.
i did hinted.
i need help.
to go with my heart or my mind.
my family members and close friends did advised me.
but i was still lost.
i can't be unfair to either of them.
like what you said,
let the best man win.
260805, i've sort of made a decision and we decided to say goodbye to each other.
*ehem* in a harsh way.
within the 5 weeks of separation,
i missed you.
i thought i won't but i did.
weird but true.
and the way we got in touch back was way cute.
who would ever thought changing nickname in msn and kept changing the status from appear offline to online will bring us together again?
smart you. and smart me.
it's kinda freak me out to have a lot of things in common.
i mean both our grandma are chinese.
my grandma's surname is kim and his late grandma's was sim.
our family has a twin.
we are the first grandson/daughter from our maternal side.
and the list goes on and on.
i had to redo my decision due to some factors.
and yes,
you're the best man.
and you've won.
and i want you to stay as the best man forever.
i'm excited for us.
really.
the ring made me smile when i looked at it.
especially today,
i miss you so much!
i don't know why but i've been thinking about you.
i feel connected.
i was moved to tears when you asked me to listen to the song.
yes, indeed tonight i celebrate my love.
you have the power to make me feel special inside.
i love you.
happy 1 year of friendship sweetheart!
cheers.
sound familiar?
Thursday, March 30
Tuesday, March 28
fun
weeeeeeee!
yesterday was a blast!
and sweet.
and lovely.
had an outing with my two besties, my boyfriend and his friend.
i'm sure there's more outings to come. *grins*
my holidays has been a busy one for me.
packed with stuffs every week.
ok stop, i shouldn't be complaining.
cause if i'm not busy, i'll be bored to death.
now i have something that will remind me of you. hee.
how can i not love you?
you, you and more you.
yesterday was a blast!
and sweet.
and lovely.
had an outing with my two besties, my boyfriend and his friend.
i'm sure there's more outings to come. *grins*
my holidays has been a busy one for me.
packed with stuffs every week.
ok stop, i shouldn't be complaining.
cause if i'm not busy, i'll be bored to death.
now i have something that will remind me of you. hee.
how can i not love you?
you, you and more you.
Tuesday, March 21
indulgance.
lovely suliza and i head to max brenner at esplanade to have a lunch filled with chocolates.
hot yummy chocolates!
the aroma of chocolates surrounds the place.
the soothing music makes us relax.
the romantic lightings makes you in the mood.
we had warm chocolate fondue and waffles.
the fondue consists of
1) strawberries.
2) bananas
we didn't feel like eating bananas so we asked for more strawberries
3) marshmallows
4) butter bread
and of course the chocolates!
dark - white - milk
imagine those ingredients being dip inside the bowl filled with chocolate. ahhhhhh....
waffles consists of
1) waffles
2) fruits salad
3) vanilla ice cream
4) chocolate ganache
our lunch photo!
the lunch we had today made both suliza and me exuberant!
and *ehem* fat.
my dearest suliza.
all thanks to my darl who brought me here for my early birthday treat.
a day that i was so pampered.
my 19th birthday was a birthday that will remain with me for a very, very, very long time.
let me recall....
*processing*
met up in town
had lunch at swensens'
watched chronicles of narnia
dessert at max brenner
strolling time
present time!
i thought it was some cd casing. like those 2 cds combined together cause the packaging looked that way. so i took my time unwrapping it.
only god knows how i felt when i saw it. my heart skipped a beat, i was stuttering.
i didn't know how to react when i saw the ipod nano that you presented to me.
i can't deny it's the most romantic date i ever been.
thank you for planning and i did enjoyed myself.
even though we were friends, you put in effort to plan for me.
in which, 2 months earlier, i didn't do anything for yours, just a sms to wish you happy birthday.
i appreciate it.
and those moves got you points.
and i was surprised that you have ordered a cake for me way before my birthday.
as you thought of giving me a surprise after floorball training.
so that i can go home with a cake waiting for me.
but me and my big mouth said that swensens' cakes aren't nice.
arghhhh!
which makes you think twice and made a decision not to disappoint me.
poor you darl that you had to finish the cake.
i'm sorry if i'm evil.
i never imagine that we will get this far.
your determination and sincerity got you where you are now, in my heart.
it will be save and sound.
5 years darl, 5 years.
hot yummy chocolates!
the aroma of chocolates surrounds the place.
the soothing music makes us relax.
the romantic lightings makes you in the mood.
we had warm chocolate fondue and waffles.
the fondue consists of
1) strawberries.
2) bananas
we didn't feel like eating bananas so we asked for more strawberries
3) marshmallows
4) butter bread
and of course the chocolates!
dark - white - milk
imagine those ingredients being dip inside the bowl filled with chocolate. ahhhhhh....
waffles consists of
1) waffles
2) fruits salad
3) vanilla ice cream
4) chocolate ganache
our lunch photo!
the lunch we had today made both suliza and me exuberant!
and *ehem* fat.
my dearest suliza.
all thanks to my darl who brought me here for my early birthday treat.
a day that i was so pampered.
my 19th birthday was a birthday that will remain with me for a very, very, very long time.
let me recall....
*processing*
met up in town
had lunch at swensens'
watched chronicles of narnia
dessert at max brenner
strolling time
present time!
i thought it was some cd casing. like those 2 cds combined together cause the packaging looked that way. so i took my time unwrapping it.
only god knows how i felt when i saw it. my heart skipped a beat, i was stuttering.
i didn't know how to react when i saw the ipod nano that you presented to me.
i can't deny it's the most romantic date i ever been.
thank you for planning and i did enjoyed myself.
even though we were friends, you put in effort to plan for me.
in which, 2 months earlier, i didn't do anything for yours, just a sms to wish you happy birthday.
i appreciate it.
and those moves got you points.
and i was surprised that you have ordered a cake for me way before my birthday.
as you thought of giving me a surprise after floorball training.
so that i can go home with a cake waiting for me.
but me and my big mouth said that swensens' cakes aren't nice.
arghhhh!
which makes you think twice and made a decision not to disappoint me.
poor you darl that you had to finish the cake.
i'm sorry if i'm evil.
i never imagine that we will get this far.
your determination and sincerity got you where you are now, in my heart.
it will be save and sound.
5 years darl, 5 years.
Saturday, March 18
sweetness.
i wouldn't want that to happen again.
never ever.
horrible medicine. it was really bitter.
you had your reasons.
which i failed to see.
sorry and i mean it.
i was touched by your concern and i felt silly.
haha.
i think we will laugh our head off if we talk about this issue in the future.
the feeling is still in me.
the feeling when you held my hand tight.
the feeling that brought me warmness.
that tingly sensation that makes me smile when i think about.
and i realised what a sweetheart you are.
i felt like a schoolgirl who never stop smiling to herself because she's in love.
your girlfriend realised that she has been blessed.
and she kept thinking about you.
you're the first to fill her mind when she wakes up.
even 3 am in the morning.
what surprised her was that she received a sms from you at the same time.
telepathy huh?
or was that because she misses you badly?
all she knows is that she excited to see you.
she's longing for your companionship.
more things for me to share in the future hun.
i promise.
i love you.
i do.
never ever.
horrible medicine. it was really bitter.
you had your reasons.
which i failed to see.
sorry and i mean it.
i was touched by your concern and i felt silly.
haha.
i think we will laugh our head off if we talk about this issue in the future.
the feeling is still in me.
the feeling when you held my hand tight.
the feeling that brought me warmness.
that tingly sensation that makes me smile when i think about.
and i realised what a sweetheart you are.
i felt like a schoolgirl who never stop smiling to herself because she's in love.
your girlfriend realised that she has been blessed.
and she kept thinking about you.
you're the first to fill her mind when she wakes up.
even 3 am in the morning.
what surprised her was that she received a sms from you at the same time.
telepathy huh?
or was that because she misses you badly?
all she knows is that she excited to see you.
she's longing for your companionship.
more things for me to share in the future hun.
i promise.
i love you.
i do.
Friday, March 17
haywire.
it seems that life doesn't go your way but it is always fair.
been having too much flying thoughts in my mind that i couldn't capture any of it. in the process, i feel weak both mentally and physically. and in the end i had to give in to my tears.
my mind is having arguments within itself. the positives versus the negatives. with that happening, i'm lost. i'm not sure on how should i think.
can't be bothered to switch on the radio while driving. it's just a period of solitude.
god, i need your guidance. give me strength to pull it through.
whatever happens, i love you still darl.
thanks for being supportive and my encouragement.
you're the only one that i think of every single day.
been having too much flying thoughts in my mind that i couldn't capture any of it. in the process, i feel weak both mentally and physically. and in the end i had to give in to my tears.
my mind is having arguments within itself. the positives versus the negatives. with that happening, i'm lost. i'm not sure on how should i think.
can't be bothered to switch on the radio while driving. it's just a period of solitude.
god, i need your guidance. give me strength to pull it through.
whatever happens, i love you still darl.
thanks for being supportive and my encouragement.
you're the only one that i think of every single day.
Monday, March 13
graduates.
the speech that was made few days ago.
firstly, i will like to compliment the graduates
sue: the incredible shooter. her shots are powerful and accurate
amilin: the all rounder. able to play any positions including goal keeper
ulfah: the don't mess with me player. her passes are terrific. looks elsewhere, pass somewhere
aisah: the bulldozer. her defences are powerful. you need to have enough guts to get through her
ayu: the cool and relaxed player. looks can be really deceiving. looks blur but she has quality
each of you are amazing individuals who has their own charms and you all taught us a lot, be it in trainings, friendships and etc.
those trainings we has together will remain an unforgetable memory which i'll carry for life. whenever i recall back all the trainings we had, mixed emotions hits me.
those fun we had, the uncontrollable laughter, nicknames we had for our opponent and those silly stuffs we did, i'll always treasure them. and i bet the others will too.
all of you have guided us so much with your strengths, wisdom, patience and love. we really appreciate that and we know we can never thank you enough.
well, everything has an end and the time has come for all of you to graduate and leave us on our own.
i bet the thought of leaving us is hard since we've been attached for two years. do have faith in us. we wouldn't want to see what the floorball team had gone through to go down the drain. that will be such a stupid waste. we will try to maintain and no doubt make all of you proud of us.
you are welcome for our trainings whenever you're free.
we will definitely miss you all.
congrats on your graduation and wish you all the success in the future to come.
thank you.
firstly, i will like to compliment the graduates
sue: the incredible shooter. her shots are powerful and accurate
amilin: the all rounder. able to play any positions including goal keeper
ulfah: the don't mess with me player. her passes are terrific. looks elsewhere, pass somewhere
aisah: the bulldozer. her defences are powerful. you need to have enough guts to get through her
ayu: the cool and relaxed player. looks can be really deceiving. looks blur but she has quality
each of you are amazing individuals who has their own charms and you all taught us a lot, be it in trainings, friendships and etc.
those trainings we has together will remain an unforgetable memory which i'll carry for life. whenever i recall back all the trainings we had, mixed emotions hits me.
those fun we had, the uncontrollable laughter, nicknames we had for our opponent and those silly stuffs we did, i'll always treasure them. and i bet the others will too.
all of you have guided us so much with your strengths, wisdom, patience and love. we really appreciate that and we know we can never thank you enough.
well, everything has an end and the time has come for all of you to graduate and leave us on our own.
i bet the thought of leaving us is hard since we've been attached for two years. do have faith in us. we wouldn't want to see what the floorball team had gone through to go down the drain. that will be such a stupid waste. we will try to maintain and no doubt make all of you proud of us.
you are welcome for our trainings whenever you're free.
we will definitely miss you all.
congrats on your graduation and wish you all the success in the future to come.
thank you.
Thursday, March 9
a piece of thought.
imagine a world without others.
you're all alone.
there's nobody else.
only you.
i tell you,
you would be living happily.
a simple life with,
no quarrels.
no exchange of thoughts.
no war.
no fighting.
the list definitely will go on.
once someone else steps in,
you will just have to depend on your luck or perhaps fate.
why is that so?
because if that someone has the same mindset and feelings as yours,
gurantee both of you will be living happily ever after.
if there's differences,
changes has to be made and that when compromising comes into the picture.
give and take.
i'm sure everyone would like a happy ending.
but think about it again,
this is life.
no one is the same as you.
no one can ever be like you.
thus, give and take is the key.
a happy ending in life comes only when both individuals are willing to give.
and expect nothing in return.
in a way, you sacrifice.
and there should be transparency between the both of you.
you should try to block the word 'expectation'.
it only brings you sadness, rarely happiness.
never expect anything.
selfish is the start of any argument.
agree?
haha.
selfish then led to stubborn.
after which stubborn led to an eruption.
be true to yourself and you will be rewarded by ways you can never imagine.
fyi, i'm not having a quarrel with him.
i don't think we had any.
oh yes, except for one, months ago.
all due to my selfishness.
and i never want any arguments to happen now that we're together.
darl, let's work towards our happily ever after.
i love you too much that i can't afford to lose you.
you make me love more about myself.
thanks hun.
the day that i didn't whisper 'i love you' to you hun, is the day i die.
*ps, i was speechless when i saw you in the police uniform. *drools*
commitment is hard and scary,
but it's fruitful.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
a song that i really really like, cause i would like to be her.
i want him to be lucky.
When she looks at me
I know the girl sees things nobody else can see
All of the secret fears inside
And all the craziness I hide
She looks into my soul and reads me like nobody can
And she doesn't judge the man
She just takes me as I am
Come what may, she believes
And that faith is something I've never known before
Come what may, she loves me
And that love has helped me open a door
Making me love myself a little more
When I turn away
She knows those are the times there's nothing she can say
Nothing that anyone can do
And so she lets me live it through
And when I'm in my darkest hours of uncertainty
She just simply lets me be
And goes right on loving me
And when it seems my dreams have all slipped through my fingers
When they just can't be found
I turn around, and there they are
Shining in her eyes
Come what may, she believes
And that faith is something I've never known before
Come what may, she loves me
And that love has helped me open a door
Making me love myself a little more
you're all alone.
there's nobody else.
only you.
i tell you,
you would be living happily.
a simple life with,
no quarrels.
no exchange of thoughts.
no war.
no fighting.
the list definitely will go on.
once someone else steps in,
you will just have to depend on your luck or perhaps fate.
why is that so?
because if that someone has the same mindset and feelings as yours,
gurantee both of you will be living happily ever after.
if there's differences,
changes has to be made and that when compromising comes into the picture.
give and take.
i'm sure everyone would like a happy ending.
but think about it again,
this is life.
no one is the same as you.
no one can ever be like you.
thus, give and take is the key.
a happy ending in life comes only when both individuals are willing to give.
and expect nothing in return.
in a way, you sacrifice.
and there should be transparency between the both of you.
you should try to block the word 'expectation'.
it only brings you sadness, rarely happiness.
never expect anything.
selfish is the start of any argument.
agree?
haha.
selfish then led to stubborn.
after which stubborn led to an eruption.
be true to yourself and you will be rewarded by ways you can never imagine.
fyi, i'm not having a quarrel with him.
i don't think we had any.
oh yes, except for one, months ago.
all due to my selfishness.
and i never want any arguments to happen now that we're together.
darl, let's work towards our happily ever after.
i love you too much that i can't afford to lose you.
you make me love more about myself.
thanks hun.
the day that i didn't whisper 'i love you' to you hun, is the day i die.
*ps, i was speechless when i saw you in the police uniform. *drools*
commitment is hard and scary,
but it's fruitful.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
a song that i really really like, cause i would like to be her.
i want him to be lucky.
When she looks at me
I know the girl sees things nobody else can see
All of the secret fears inside
And all the craziness I hide
She looks into my soul and reads me like nobody can
And she doesn't judge the man
She just takes me as I am
Come what may, she believes
And that faith is something I've never known before
Come what may, she loves me
And that love has helped me open a door
Making me love myself a little more
When I turn away
She knows those are the times there's nothing she can say
Nothing that anyone can do
And so she lets me live it through
And when I'm in my darkest hours of uncertainty
She just simply lets me be
And goes right on loving me
And when it seems my dreams have all slipped through my fingers
When they just can't be found
I turn around, and there they are
Shining in her eyes
Come what may, she believes
And that faith is something I've never known before
Come what may, she loves me
And that love has helped me open a door
Making me love myself a little more
Monday, March 6
end of exams.
don't you all love the word holidays?
hehe.
well, i do.
but sooner or later, i'll start whining and complaining about getting bored at home.
what can i say?
it's never easy to pleased human beings.
i'm not sure how's my results going to be like this sem.
i don't want to get my third C's.
neither do i want to get my first D's.
hopefully the numbers of A's and B's will keep on increasing.
it will be even better if i'll get my third AD's, though i doubt so.
in short, i want it to be good.
results on the 24th march.
just sit and wait.
*tick tock, tick tock, tick tock*
went to a dinner on friday.
to accompany him to his chinese friend wedding.
the atmosphere was just so sweet and right.
hmmm.
and we roughly have an idea on how our wedding will be like.
haha.
i should start saving up.
6 years more.
didn't attend the floorball league on saturday cause my lower back was in pain.
the strain was back.
please go away soon.
i was super anxious on saturday evening.
why?
cause his mom asked me along to bowl with them.
upon the question,
my mind drifted off and started thinking what kind of questions she will ask, what she will think of me, etc.
you know, you wouldn't want people to have a bad first impression of you.
even though this wasn't the first time i met his parents
i just didn't want to appear like a fool.
*phew* thank god, it went all fine, smooth and good.
and it was fun!
more bonding sessions to come i suppose.
hee.
i hope my report card is good.
i wouldn't want to tarnish that.
you complete me.
darl, i'm looking forward to have kids with you too.
we need to be strong and held close to each other to overcome every hurdles that we are going to face.
*winks* we are and will be one great team.
i love you.
a great song sang by a great singer.
you brighten up the moon and stars at night
you keep me seeing rainbows in the sky
you bring new meaning to my life, now
i believe in miracles baby i'm forever yours, yours
tender love's what you're giving me and
you surpass all my fantasies and
i keep thanking the lord above for
blessing me with oh so much
cause i know how it feels to be part of you boy
everyday of my life's so abundant with joy
and i honestly never thought love could be real
until the angels guided you to me
lying with you so natural
i never knew this was possible
and it finally feels like my life has begun
now that i can share it with someone
baby our love will always persevere
anything you ever need,
you know i'll be right here and
you don't have to worry boy
i won't betray your trust
because i'm so much in love
every time your lips meet mine
it still feels like the first time
and if you lost everything
i'd keep on standing by your side
and boy it seems like everyday
i fall deeper in love
because i can't get enough
you brighten up the moon and stars at night
you keep me seeing rainbows in the sky
you bring new meaning to my life, now
i believe in miracles baby i'm forever yours, yours
hehe.
well, i do.
but sooner or later, i'll start whining and complaining about getting bored at home.
what can i say?
it's never easy to pleased human beings.
i'm not sure how's my results going to be like this sem.
i don't want to get my third C's.
neither do i want to get my first D's.
hopefully the numbers of A's and B's will keep on increasing.
it will be even better if i'll get my third AD's, though i doubt so.
in short, i want it to be good.
results on the 24th march.
just sit and wait.
*tick tock, tick tock, tick tock*
went to a dinner on friday.
to accompany him to his chinese friend wedding.
the atmosphere was just so sweet and right.
hmmm.
and we roughly have an idea on how our wedding will be like.
haha.
i should start saving up.
6 years more.
didn't attend the floorball league on saturday cause my lower back was in pain.
the strain was back.
please go away soon.
i was super anxious on saturday evening.
why?
cause his mom asked me along to bowl with them.
upon the question,
my mind drifted off and started thinking what kind of questions she will ask, what she will think of me, etc.
you know, you wouldn't want people to have a bad first impression of you.
even though this wasn't the first time i met his parents
i just didn't want to appear like a fool.
*phew* thank god, it went all fine, smooth and good.
and it was fun!
more bonding sessions to come i suppose.
hee.
i hope my report card is good.
i wouldn't want to tarnish that.
you complete me.
darl, i'm looking forward to have kids with you too.
we need to be strong and held close to each other to overcome every hurdles that we are going to face.
*winks* we are and will be one great team.
i love you.
a great song sang by a great singer.
you brighten up the moon and stars at night
you keep me seeing rainbows in the sky
you bring new meaning to my life, now
i believe in miracles baby i'm forever yours, yours
tender love's what you're giving me and
you surpass all my fantasies and
i keep thanking the lord above for
blessing me with oh so much
cause i know how it feels to be part of you boy
everyday of my life's so abundant with joy
and i honestly never thought love could be real
until the angels guided you to me
lying with you so natural
i never knew this was possible
and it finally feels like my life has begun
now that i can share it with someone
baby our love will always persevere
anything you ever need,
you know i'll be right here and
you don't have to worry boy
i won't betray your trust
because i'm so much in love
every time your lips meet mine
it still feels like the first time
and if you lost everything
i'd keep on standing by your side
and boy it seems like everyday
i fall deeper in love
because i can't get enough
you brighten up the moon and stars at night
you keep me seeing rainbows in the sky
you bring new meaning to my life, now
i believe in miracles baby i'm forever yours, yours
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