a lot

a lot of stuffs has been happening recently.
and i've got my results!

i didn't put any expectation for the results as i wouldn't want to get disappointed.
because i think i just did average for the semester.
thank goodness, it was alright.
the alphabets wasn't that nice with B's flooding it.
haha.
but the gpa was pleasant.
can be better, but it's over.
3.4643

i know where to head next.

since i did badly for my PSLE,
i never thought i'm capable to achieve something.
i lose my self confidence totally.
slowly, i'm gaining it back.

i was embarrassed to say my PSLE results.
but now i'm proud to say it loud.
haha.
i've got only a mere 172 for my PSLE results.
and i got to normal academic.
people don't believe me when i said that.
i wasn't that bright.
perhaps hardworking.
i knew i could go to express.
my mid year, prelims results said so.
but nooo.
god has a plan for me.

for today, i sent kak susi to the airport and while heading home, fetch a new kakak.
all the things she's done.
thank you kak susi.
i'll miss you.
i hope you will miss all my babbling about random stuffs.
haha.

yesterday went to kubur with him and his parents.
it has been years since i went there.
it striked me, if i were to die, will i be rememebered?

afterwhich see him soccering.
haha.
then then then,
head to johor with him and grandma.

it's good to know that both of our families approve of our relationship.
i can never be happier.

a few days ago, i overheard my grandma conversation with his mom.
and god, my grandma was really teasing me about me having new parents.
both were saying about saving money.
hmmm.
honey, few more years ya?
haha.
and i'm really glad his parents love me.

i have additional parents now.
hee.
three mothers that consists of mama, mama in and his mom.
three dads, papa, papa 2, his dad.

one more week and it will mark the first month of attachment!
6 months will sure fly.

last thursday, a lecturer from school who is happened to be my in-charge,
dropped by to see how i'm doing.
i don't know him as he wasn't a hlm lecturer.
i don't know how he looks like, what he teaches in school, blah, blah, blah.
all i know was his name.
wasn't that bad when he came down.
chatted about how i'm doing.
and he gave me a shocked with a remark.
he said "your english is good, you speak fluently."
i was blushing, thank god the place was gloomy.
what a remark.
no one ever said that to me.

i'm still improving on my english, lot more to learn.
for my malay, aiyoyo.
memalukan.
i speak malay with a ba-ku slang.
it's funny i tell you.

i know,
i'm stubborn.
really am.
i never want to lose.
but at times, i have to lose cause i'm in the wrong.
i need to change.
badly.
argh.

maybe i need to have more control of myself.
these mood swings are really controlling me.

i'm really sorry to those affected.
thanks for being so understanding and still love me for who i am.

sometimes you are too scared to show your flaws.
scared of your loved ones leave you cause they can't cope with you.
it scared me.
especially if you ever to leave me.
i don't know what i'll do.
i can't think of that yet cause i wouldn't to see that happen.

that was why a wise friend of mine said "you can only know your partner true self when you are married to him/her"
yes, it's true.
cause when you're in a relationship, you avoid showing those bad points of yours.
people are just putting on a mask.
because when you're married, you are suppose to be with him/her till the end of your life.
it's like a contract.
well, the contract can be broken by divorcing.
whereas when you are still not married,
there's no contract and your partner may just leave you.

honey, i hope you're the one.
the one that i was born to love.
the one that i'll cherish for life.
my only other half that will make me whole.

i know you love me.
your love is amazing.
at times, i just need reassurance.

you just called.
and i love hearing your voice.
i'll see you tonight sweetheart.

i want to be the best girlfriend ever.
cause i know you deserve the best.