let's get a new phone!

as of for now,
i am not miserable!
as i've managed to transfer the precious smses to my laptop!
and that makes me smile widely.

no miracle happened,
my phone still has a blank screen.
however i can receieve call and sms (which i can't read).

yesterday,
i sprained my back.
my right lower back.
and i have to move like a fragile lady at a very slow pace.

and readers!
i'm sure you all have noticed how hot the weather is nowadays.
so hot that you simply sweat while sitting down.
even if you took shower,
a few minutes later,
you'll sweat (unless you're in an aircon room)
is this the effect of global warming?
hmmm..
i let you guys think.
on top of that,
can we do anything about it?
will our future generations live in even a warmer country?

sweetheart,
thanks, thanks and thanks!
i love you, i love you and i love you!
i know you will bring me to greater heights!

unavailable.

i am now unreachable as my phone is not functioning.
aaaAaaAaAAAaaaaAaaa!
it was fine in the morning when suddenly,
the screen turns blank.

any urgent call, please contact mahmuddin's residence or email me.
thank you.
=)

oh shit!
i should have save those sentimental messages or copied it down in a diary!
haiyamak!

please,
let there be miracle for my phone.

another week and i'll be free!

sweetheart,
thanks for being irritating to make me well!
i know it takes you a lot of patience to get me in the good mood.
and i appreciate what you have done.
by the end of the day,
you made my day!

accompanying me.

even though i'm having a paper on monday,
i went out today.
let's say it's a breather.

the partner's mom needed me to follow her as the tailor need my body measurements for the baju kurung that is fully sponsored by his mom.
apart from that,
we also send nenek back to her kampung.
it was a refreshing trip that take my mind off from school.

despite that the partner slept really late because of work,

in his sleepy mode,

he still came along.
i was stuck at the back with his mom and nenek.

and most of the time,

when the mature adults were talking,

the 2 immature adults communicate through the rear mirror.

giving one another silly looks and laugh.

sweetheart,

i am very much in love with you.

you will be my darling for life.

taken aback and thank you love.

i am a good girl today.
=)
i even offered a person beside me in the bus biscuits.
hahahah!
i bought mini chipsmore and i planned to eat in the bus.
however while opening the packaging,
the person beside me was secretly looking at the chipsmore.
that was when i offered her.
"do you want some?"
i think she was embarrassed.
i doubt she have any psychotic people offering her biscuits in the bus.
she was lucky that my mood was super good today.
*grins*

as you can hear,
i changed my song.
this song brought me back to my sec 5 days.
happy, lively and that good feeling.
heard it from the japan's world cup.
the first time i saw the video clip on mtv,
i felt in love with it.

apart from being in a good mood and all,
i didn't really have a good night yesterday.
i fear whenever people have expectations on me.
it's just me.
if i failed to carry out that given role,
i feel like a failure.

if you are being molded to be a particular someone,
then you are not you.

of course you guys have heard of the maslow's hierarchy of needs (if not, go read about it).
at the most top is the self-actualization needs, "self-actualizing people are self-aware, concerned with personal growth, less concerned with the opinions of others, and interested fulfilling their potential"
(http://psychology.about.com/od/theoriesofpersonality/a/hierarchyneeds.htm)
you did that just to pleased people, to avoid much conflicts, at time you might benefit from it.
however if you're a criminal, please change, going around harming other people is a no-no.
i thank god that my family members let me have the freedom to be me.

the partner who was already asleep woke up just to console me on it.
and i understand that it's how you react to people reaction,
but at times,
it's just hard.
about 30 mins later,
i've received a message from him.
"honey, i will accept you for who you are and who you will be. nothing can bring us apart. i love you lots honey."
and that message is meaningful.
the subsequent message said that he will support and guide me.
and i really need that.
someone to believe in me and never gives up on me.
and he ended the messaging with,
"good night love"
and all those make me sleep peacefully.

honey,
thanks for attending to my needs.
you've been such a great partner that i wouldn't want to trade you with anyone else.
the connection we have complement one another.
and i know you need me like i need you.
indeed there's nothing that can brings us apart,
let's stay strong and keep the love alive.
if there is a word that is greater than love,
i'll use that to describe our love and my love for you.
thank you love.

i thank god for you,
all the time.

fruits galore!

when i got home from the meeting,
i smiled.
because....
two thorny fruits made me happy tonight.
=)

one, the durian.
two, the rambutan.
ok lah, the rambutan is not sharp and thorny but just for this entry let us classified it as thorny.

i don't count myself as a fan of the durians but for the past few days i've been seeing yellow yummy flesh at most of the places.
that tempted me.

and rambutans has been one of my favourite fruits!
juicy.

now,
i miss mango, mangosteen and kiwi (those from new zealand, the gold ones, very sweet)!

tomorrow marks my first paper.
this sem,
i have 6 modules.
indeed it's taxing.
4 thick textbooks + readings to cover.
*shakes head*
i can't wait to just do nothing.
let time flies like no one business.
and all i know,
i'm with his parents and him in an unknown place.

alrite readers,
those who are having papers,
all the best!
those who are working,
happy working!
those who read this in the morning,
good morning!
those who are looking forward to the weekends,
YESSSA! it's friday!

okok.
i better stop.

and sweetheart,
thanks for the constant smses and calls that made me flushed.
i love you!

earth day.

i still have 25 mins to wish.
happy earth day!
22nd is always happening!
haha.

please take care of the earth.
it's old and it needs extra care.
appreciate it before it's gone.

fetched the partner from soccer and we had supper.
=)
and ooohhh yeah,
i've got chocolates for being a good girl by studying.
^-^

you never fail to make me smile at the thought of you.
you got me baby, for the rest of your life.
i love you till my last breath.

what a monday.

i am late,

however happy belated birthday syasya!
=)

for now,
i am tired, sleepy and not right.
=(

i've been trying to earn money this holidays.
yes, you got that right,
earn money.
for what?
for the japan's holidays.
the hong kong's trip is settled.
his mom has changed the $1000 prize money to hong kong dollars for me and the partner to spend.

despite the fact that i don't really like teaching,
i took up teaching, temporarily.
first: i realized that it was the easiest way to good money.
second: the schools are nearby my house.
third: i need money!
so yep.

this morning i wasted my chance to be a relief teacher.
because i had to attend a meeting.
$$$ please come to me.
=)

sweetheart,
i am carefree when i'm with you.
the short meet up was good baby!
*hugs&tickles&kisses*

the night date

woo hoo!!
it felt so good to meet the partner again!
i like the warm embrace.
=)

he has got a quiz tomorrow morning yet he went out and meet his girlfriend.
me: honey, why don't you let me know that you've got a quiz?
him: it's ok honey, because i want to meet my girlfriend. i miss you a lot.
as usual, the girlfriend flushed.
then he add on,
him: honey, we should get a couple watch when we're in hong kong.
the girlfriend smiled broadly and nodded her head in obedience.

earlier in the day,
i had mcgriddles for breakfast.
and i have no idea how they come up with such names.
like mcflurry, etc.

from what i was told by the friendly operator,
the bread is replaced by hotcakes.
the verdict?
hmmm...
it was a little sweet and a little weird.
try if you want to.
but make sure you have someone to finish it up with you.

the partner and i watched the forbidden kingdom.
a good show that you don't mind watching over and over again.
even though it is action packed, there are some funny scene.
suitable for the whole family.
=)
worth the $$.

now,
what i am feeling now is thankful.
what makes life meaningful is the people you have.
the way people have touched your heart and the way you touched others.
it gives you a sense of satisfaction.
i don't need the whole world to be my friends,
i need people who are willing to share their free time with me and be a genuine friend.
not only i have supportive parents, grandma, aunts and uncles who have brought me up proper,
i have my brother, sisters, and cousins who make my childhood a memorable ones,
i have my best friends who i can be silly and rely on,
i have my friends who are sincere,
i have a boyfriend who loves me,
i have his parents who love me.
i am thankful.
syukur alhamdulliah.

and i am glad that i've met the partner.
with the modern technology,
our paths cross.
i've met him when i'm late 18.
that is early compare to some.
for that i am thankful.
i can't imagine if our paths didn't cross yet.
i know how long some people took to meet the one.
it is painful going through heartbreaks over and over again in order to find him/her.
have faith and give it time.
your mr/ms right is stuck in a jam,
one fine day,
he/she will come to you.
i really wish that everyone has a chance to feel true love.
it makes your life more rewarding.




and sweetheart,
i am what you said i am because i am loved by you.
thanks honey.
you are the most important ingredient in my life.
indeed,
you've changed my life.
i love you baby.

the overdue paym pictures

the long overdue paym dinner photos!

a group of us sat at the VVIP table because we had our advisor with us.
i didn't know there's a VVIP.
i thought VIP is already important?

the starters which consists of fried food.


the main dish.


the desserts.
the ice cream was too sweet.


chocolates!


nanyang yec's members!







the gown that i wore was my secondary school prom's dress.
save the environment, reuse!
haha.





congrats guys!
let us continue the good work and strive for more!
=)

and yay!
i'm meeting the partner tonight for a date!
i can't wait to feel the grip of his fingers interlocking mine and to breathe in his scent.
that comfortable fuzzy feeling.
what a reward after revising.
=)

i still miss the partner!

i happened to watch american idol yesterday.
and the idols had to sing any mariah carey's songs.
and i'm impressed with one of the performances, david cook's.
he sang always be my baby.
he doesn't sound that good but it is refreshing on the way he brought the song.
he makes me hooked to it.
it reminds me of my time in primary school which i lipsync 2 of mariah's songs for one of the malay dance club activities.
one of it is the above song,
the other, when i saw you.
haha.
it was funny lah.
syah, you remember?

i've been hungry these past few days.
like what janet said,
when exams are approaching,
her stomach excrete more acid and makes her hungry.
maybe i'm like her.
haha.

just a few days ago,
i was planning about the future with the partner,
i would be graduating by the end of 2009.
so i guess i can start working in 2010,
is it enough to save enough $$$ so i can get married before 25?
haha.
he told me not to worry.
maybe i'm thinking too much.

it's already been 5 days since the last time i saw the partner.
urgh!
it's been driving me nuts!
i have no idea why i've been missing him very much lately.
we have no free time to meet.
he has soccer training, school or work.
as for me, i'm flexible (ya right)

sweetheart,
i am always beside you, supporting your every move.
when we're happy, we celebrate it together.
when we're having rough times, we get through it together.
i'm always with you baby.
i love you.

exam stress!

i hate the peak hours.
the amount you paid for your transportation is not worth it.
you will be stuck with people, with traffic.
no wonder people are not putting on a happy face during the peak hours.
and it can be a cycle.
when they are not happy,
they bring home with it and affect the others with their mood.
*sighs*

i'm left with a week of school only.
wait.
today will be the last day of school for me.
last lecture will be from 4-6.

and exams will start kicking in the next 2 weeks.
revision is on my schedule.

my monday was stressful.
i had a test and also an essay to hand in.
thankfully,
i passed the development psych test!
=)
for the essay,
i did last minute editing before handing it in.
and on that day,
i was a panda zombie, didn't have enough sleep.
i had no more energy left for the day.
on top of it,
i didn't hear from the partner.
not a single sms or call.
i felt a part of me is missing.
in the evening,
he called and told me that his phone was dead, he was still at work and had a busy day.
and he made me smile with this phrase,
"honey, i am now looking at your picture and talking to you. i miss you."
and i know exactly which picture he is refering to as i saw it on his office desk before.

i miss you too.
i love you sweetheart.

studying blues.

i thought my sunday was gonna be very simple.
stay at home to finish up my assignment and revise for developemental psych tomorrow.
i even turn down a birthday today held at the singapore flyer since i had so many things to do.
it's the chairman of win council son name max's birthday.

i've yet to see max real life.
but just looking at his pictures, makes me adore him.

happy birthday max!

i can't believe i turn down my chance for a free ride on the singapore flyer.
days earlier,
i've discussed with the partner whether to attend it.
i figured out it will be special to have our first ride together apart from me having a test and an essay to finish up by monday.
=)
the partner's mom already hinted that after the japan trip we can take the singapore flyer.

today,
about 9.30 in the morning,
the partner's mom called.
she wanted me come over her house and together me and her to go to her aunt's place to choose cloth for hari raya's oufit.

i did that.
reached the partner's house about 11.45am.
afterwhich she initiated me to drive their car to our destination as her husband need to do some tasks.
it was no longer an awkward position to be in the car alone with her.
with his mom around,
there is always something to discuss together.
upon reaching our destination,
a grey kain songket caught my eyes and she paid for it.
thanks makcik.
=)

send her home and studied a little while over at her house.


i didn't go home yet.
the three of us,
his dad, his mom and me attended an event 'cukur rambut' (where a newborn hair is being cut)
i was reluctant because i might feel out of place (without the partner) but they convinced me to come along.
and i did.
it was alright.
i felt like their daughter (oh honey, don't be jealous ah)

his parents are really kind to me and i really feel bless.
they treated me to a lot of things and make sure that i'm fine.

oh why i didn't talk about the partner?
because he had to go to work today.

honey,
it is right to be with you.

the swollen eye

happy 19th birthday brother!
i always wish you all the best in everything you do!
call it ego,
but i never show or say that i love you.
but i do.
i really miss the times when we were young and mischievous together with insyirah.

my laptop is back to normal!
luckily they didn't need to reformat it.
i still have my MightyMboy wallpaper staring back at me!

=)

currently, i am trying to finish up my essay.
i have the points and sources, now to rearrange and make it flow.
and tomorrow task is to study for development psychology!
kids!

head out with shikin yesterday to take my laptop and accompany her.
and i was teased by a guy at the roti prata shop.
that guy: dah bayar? (have you paid?)
me: dah (yes)
that guy: oh, ingat nak bayarkan. (oh, i thought i want to pay for you)
just to let you guys know,
during the conversation,
i didn't even look at his face,
i was looking at the packets of roti prata.
told shikin about it and she laughed!
we had a fun time hanging out!
by the end of the day,
i ended up with a tiring left leg of pressing the clutch.
haha.
shikin,
get your license soon!

while i was out with shikin,
i received a sms by the partner.
"do you want to have a late night out tonight?"
i got excited!
haha.
and i agreed to meet him for a midnight movie after my date with shikin which ended at 11.15pm.
told him about the teasing incident and he laughed.
we watched street kings.
conclusion: too many talk, little action.
not recommended.
afterwhich we drive thru mcdonalds for supper.

today,
the partner called after his soccer game and informed me that the side of his left eye is swollen as someone elbowed him during the soccer match.
he came over and bought vanilla ice cream and root beer.
haha.
yep, you've guessed it!
we had root beer float.
followed by a fun quality time together.
the swollen was a little obvious, on the side of his left eye.
compressed it with a cold bag.
he's avoiding the camera to hide the swollen area.


we discussed about after marriage and savings.
where we're gonna stay and what we will be doing with his savings.
at the moment,
i have no savings.
no work = no $$.
student = poor.

sweetheart,
i am stuck on you.
till i can't get my mind off you.

just a short update.

alright,
wanna know why i didn't blog for days?
because there was a problem with my laptop.
i can't on it..
wait, i can on it but the screen remain blank.

so i had to send it away to get cure.
what a timing since i had a 3000 word essay to hand in on monday.
haiyamak!

this entry is possible thanks to my brother's laptop.

yesterday was syafiqah's 16 birthday!
happy birthday sis!
my sister is all grown up!

saturday attended an award with my fellows yec committee members.
good food with a good gang of friends!

and it's confirmed!
we'll be going hong kong on the 23 may!
woweee!
i am really excited!
until the extend that i asked a classmate of mine who was from hong kong to recommend me the places.

exams is just around the corner and it's getting me stress.
another haiyakmak!

and for the upcoming months,
i have a lot of meetings to attend to.
ish!

there was a time when the partner had to wait an hour plus for me, so he can send me home.
it wasn't my fault.
it was the meeting.
i thought it would finish about 8.30pm but who would know that they drag it to 10pm?
no doubt, he was frustrated by his smses.
and so was i.
i felt bad enough to let him wait while some people were dragging it longer.
when i got in the car,
i felt really bad that i cried.
being that partner of mine,
he laughed at me,
and cheered me up.
he presented me with a chocolate bar.
and our day ended happily!

baby,
all i know is that i have an awesome time with you!
thanks for being so sweet.
i shall see you real soon!

i'll be back.

i'll be back,
so meanwhile readers,
take good care of yourself!
and keep on smiling even though the going gets tough!

and baby,
thanks and i love you for all that you did!

another happy date.

we had a friday night out!
which was initiated by the partner.
him: honey, is there any nice movies tonight?
me: (getting excited) i guess so. i've checked for you honey.

and we've decided to watch definitely, maybe.
it's a "love mystery" show, having you to figure out who the guy got married to.
kinda romantic, sweet, funny.
quite longwinded but it was nice.
the partner and i enjoyed it.

i got to go get dress for dinner tonight!

thanks honey,
you're sweet and i feel that our relationship is strengthening.
i'll see you tomorrow baby!

focus and a little something about love

i need to focus,
badly.
especially on my studies.
=(

man,
april come by so quickly.
2008 seems to fly by.
whyyyyy?

and i've been really hungry for the past few days!
blame it on the pre menstrual syndrome.

now now,
saturday is dressing up day!
my yec committee will be attending a function at meritus mandarin.
we will need to be in formal attire.
gentlemen in shirt and tie,
while ladies in dress or gown.
sounds like fun!
and shikin is coming too!
yay!
=)

and sweetheart,
i date you on sunday?
or perhaps friday night out?
*winks*

the last few days,
i felt as if i'm a schoolgirl who just had her first crush.
that exciting feeling whenever the partner sms me unexpectedly,
the thinking of the partner all day long,
the wanting of being with him, spending time with him, pampering him.
the feeling is so intense that it makes me feel like i'm in dreamland, makes me feel really, really happy.
it seems that we understand each other much, much better.

i believe when you love someone,
you always want to provide the best treatment for your partner.
but if you fail to do so at some occasions,
you would feel miserable or guilty.
and that may affect your self esteem and your belief in yourself.
which subconsciously,
it will affect the way you treat your partner.
which at times,
it may erupt to arguments.
my point is,
some things are beyond your control
even though you want to impress your partner,
unforeseen circumstances might occur.
the one thing that can help to solve the problem is
to be understanding.

arguments and disagreements are normal.
because your partner is not you and you are not your the partner.
maybe that's one of the reason that you migh choose someone who is similar with you.
at least you have lesser arguments.
for both parties, try to explain why certain things made you feel this way.
and work on it.
definitely changes can't happen overnight.
you need to give each other ample time, a lot of patience and support.

i was about to end the blog's entry when the partner called me.
he needed me to send him to the hq due to some work.
and i did.
it may be quite embarrassing to say it here,
because people have the impression that guys always send girls home.
but i do send the partner home (only when we went out using my dad's car or he came over)
most of the time, it was him who send me home.

i mean in a relationship you need to give and take.
there's a balance.
if you keeping on giving,
you may end up tired and perhaps when you didn't get anything in return, you don't feel motivated.
whereas if you keep on taking but didn't give,
you have to becareful as there is a limit.
that is why,
when you have time,
reflect and analyze on your relationship.
and have a talk with your significant other.

one advice:
never compare the relationships between you and your friends.
as every one of each is unique.
if you compare,
you will never be satisfied and happy.
because you keep on worrying till you forget to appreciate and cherish the moments.

honey,
i am dead serious about you.
and
i am looking forward to growing old with you.
you are the best thing that ever happen to me.
loving you is a joy.

one of the best dates!

oh gosh!
in a month's time,
i'll be sitting in the exam hall.
this is so fast!!
oh nooo.....
so many materials to revise!
well, i'll start revising with my kaki-s next week.

after the exams,
holidays kick in!
i think we're gonna go hong kong in late may together with his parents.
next will be nanyang yec's trip to japan in mid june! (shikin we're gonna buy the hats k?)
and by the end of the year,
another japan trip with him and his parents!
woo hoo!
what an exciting year!
i am a happy girl.

talking abour happiness,
yesterday,
the partner and i were 2 of the most happiest people in the world.
we had such a pleasant date!
we walked around town,
go to his usual toys hunting.
joked around, flirted with one another, having those deep eye connections moments, teased one another, walked together as a couple, smell each other's scent.
on the way to his house,
there was an auntie, in her 50s, playing snake in her handphone.
she just pressed the "down" button to play it.
and sooner or later,
her snake got too long that it had no place to go.
haha!
it was hilarious!


sweetheart,
i love you!