the initial plan to go geylang with the partner and great kakis didn't happened since the partner is sick.
we break fast together and that's when he felt weak.
i don't blame him for falling sick.
and i'm fine not going even though he insist that i carry on with the plan.
i know i wouldn't enjoy myself knowing that the partner is sick and i'm out, not showing concern to him.
of course i wish to put him to sleep,
see him sleep on my lap and be right there for him,
to see if he needs anything,
caress his hair,
place wet towel on his forehead,
and so much more.
but as a girlfriend,
there are limits.
and so,
i just accompanied him home and made my way home.
even though he initated me to take a cab back,
i stubbornly refused.
and throughout the journey home,
i divert my attention to the songs i'm listening,
not to let myself think of unimportant stuff.
sacrifice.
that is love,
i thought.
have i done enough?
there was a period of time when the past catches up with me.
i crumbled down and cried.
i questioned myself,
am i not good enough?
all i know i do everything i could in the past, in the present and in the future.
god,
give me the strength to be the best i can.
please make him get better.
and make me feel worthy.
my happy moments for 28 aug is when i felt needed.
it's been so long since i felt that way.
and to experience that once again,
syukur alhamdulillah.
another happy moments was when we strolled hand in hand in my school campus from one end to the other.
it was just a walk,
so what?
but to me,
i find it comforting.
sweetheart,
get well soon.
just to let you know,
i wish to be there to take care and pamper you.
