the qualities of my husband

everyone has something that they like about the opposite sex that make them attracted to them.
some goes for the eyes, the hair, the smile, the height, etc.

as for me,
i don't really know what it is.
maybe it's the whole face?
i don't know.

i am not trying to emphasize on outer/physical beauty but isn't that how you get people attracted to you?
like, the first thing they look then they decide whether they want to get to know the person better.
but then again,
not really,
because those with exciting personalities can also attract you.

so maybe after you are attracted to the person,
the next question to ask: chemistry.
is there chemistry between the two of you?
like can the both of you connect?
are the both of you on the same wavelength?
i think from here,
this is where inside jokes occurs.

of course we can never find a perfect match for our personality,
so next up,
can the both of you give and take?
it is how the two of you work out and fine tuned to make it useful for your relationship.

and lastly,
do you really, really, really want to grow old with the person?
and ask yourself 'why?'

as for me,
i do much thinking and come up with a list that my husband need to have.
1. to pray and be able to guide me closer to the Almighty.
2. to respect me and my elders.
3. be honest with me.
4. can talk to me about anything.
5. love me wholeheartedly.
and lastly,
it will be a bonus if he is pleasant looking.

if he wants me,
he needs to have the above qualities.
if you can see,
i don't ask for money and for things that can be perishable.
all i need is to have a real person with feelings who is willing to share his life with me and who is willing to protect and love me.

i have no idea whether my husband will have a list of qualities that is needed,
but if he does,
i hope i can fulfill it.
i know the most important thing for me to do is to take care of him, shower him with love and treat him like how a husband is supposed to be treated.

i just want my life on earth to be as heavenly as possible and make his life as heavenly as possible too.

every girl's wish is to get married and look like a princess.
and my time will come given time.
insyaAllah.
i get goosebumps whenever i see weddings pictures,
expecially the solemnization.
because i am so happy for the couples who are beginning a new journey of their life.

every love story is very sweet and touching.
and reminiscing about mine,
makes me grateful to have experienced it.

honey,
how do you think you score?
=)

school's starting

my last long holidays will soon be gone and school will start.
in a way,
i'm quite excited to go back to school and end it well.
this upcoming semester will be my last sem (insyaAllah).
and i'm targetting to get a job by next year march.
once i have a job,
savings will start to take place.

this semester i will be learning about emotions, hopeful i get into the lab module about interpersonal relationships, and the other 3 modules seem interesting.
and i hope to make sure that the partner and i have our weekly revision.
because the last sem,
we postpone until it's over.
haha.

i have to say my holidays wasn't what i've expected it to be.
it was a roller coaster ride and i am glad to have my family with me.
and i'm thankful that i am able to strengthen my relationship with the Almighty.
you will get peace within yourself and start to see that things makes sense.
that's the most greatest gift of all.
i am lucky that i'm not blind anymore.

honey,
why do i feel this way about you?

when emotions get out of hand.

i realised something about myself.
when i get too angry or upset, i don't use my mind.
that includes when i'm too happy also.
it's as if my brain stop functioning and all i can think is dark harmful thoughts.
which is pretty scary because maybe those who committed suicide follow too much on their emotions that the brain is being ignored.

i read something in a book,
"In fact, the Qu'ran condemns people who do not use their minds, and in many of the passages in the Qu'ran, the appeal is made for us to utilize our intellect. If we use it in the right way, trying to get into our basic innate, pure nature, we shall be able to discover the Truth."

sometimes it's hard to excerise what you know is right.
so when your emotions get the control of you,
try engaging mind boggling activities.
like scrabble, sudoku, jokes, spelling, etc.
it will help you feel better.

right now,
i need to change the way i view my life.
i need to brainwash myself.

i need a constant reminder,
to live in the present and to enjoy myself as much as i can with my family and friends.

shikin,
i am glad the both of us are back to normal.

you're a bestfriend that i can't lose because you mean so much to me.
i love you.

as for you,
my partner,

let us help one another to be the best that we can be,
and make every living day a lesson that can be learnt about us, be it individually or as a couple.

relationships

i am back.
to the faithful readers who keeps going to this blog but are disappointed to see that i've privatized my blog,
i'm sorry.
i needed time to understand and digest what is happening to me.
i am sorry to those who has been affected by it.
i've been irresponsible, and unkind.
i'm sorry.

it seems like 2009 is a challenging year for me,
in terms of my relationships.
relationships with the Almighty, my best friends, parents, family, the partner, friends, etc.
if i would have to choose, i wouldn't want this challenge.
it's the toughest.
at times,
i feel like giving up and letting go of everything.
i wished to be dead.
but the Almighty does not think it's time for me yet,
so i have to fight through this battle with His help and guidance.

i have so many to say but i don't know how to start.
whatever it is,
i am glad to feel the Almighty's love.
syukur alhamdullilah.

Ya Allah, berikan lah aku ketenangan di dalam hidupku.
Amin.