+uL!p5

where: Lisse, Netherlands
when: 1999
photographer: Sisse Brimberg

"A man helps tend six million tulips at Keukenhof in the Netherlands. 'We are the display window of the bulb industry,' says designer Henk Koster."



it's a breathtaking view.. with all the colourful tulips and rows and rows of them.. i'm sure it's a tiring job to maintain this garden of tulips but overall, i think it's worth it.. being able to enjoy such a scenery at work.. one word : marvellous..

y!pp!e...

reached home at 2300hrs.. the past two days has been great! really great.. i couldn't ask god for more.. helped my grandma to clean the kampong.. the whole day, all we do was cleaning up.. the house was in a mess.. we took turn to clean the house.. sunday night, it was me and him washing the kitchen.. on monday morning, it was my brother and his girlfriend cleaning the plates.. then in the afternoon, the hard work began.. have to shift stuffs, put on new rubber mat and etc.. it was really exhausting but being able to see him more than 24hrs just make my day.. i love you dear! having to spend the time with you is just priceless.. *hugs*

5p00kY...

where: Moldavia
when: 1982
photographer: James L. Stanfield

"Teaching scripture with art, the 15th-century monastery church of Voronet bears frescoes inside and out that illustrate Romanian folklore and stories from the Bible. Once teaching aids for the illiterate, the remarkably preserved painted churches of Moldavia represent a striking regional adaptation of Byzantine art."

first look at this monastery church, it gives me this spooky feeling.. the environment is suitable for horror movies, eg. exorcist.. it looked haunted and it's just eerie.. i wonder if they had some hauntings over there..

@LL 5m!Le5...

didn't do anything much yesterday, slacked at home as per usual.. his mom invited me over for the open house but i declined as.. i don't think i'm ready yet to attend such occasion.. i think it will be like going through a number of interviews.. haha.. when i'm mentally prepared, only then maybe i'll go.. i think first impression does play an important part.. if i were to attend the open house yesterday, i don't think i would know what to do, i would feel lost.. whether should i help to wash the dishes or entertain the guests or help out his mom or etc.. you know what i mean.. i can't be sitting one corner all alone, what will people think of me? an anti-social? a lazy bum? blah, blah, blah.. it's beyond our control as people have the right to speak their mind..
my grandma wanted to go back to her kampong house and asked me along.. *smiles* but not only me, she asked him along.. i was caught in a situation where i wanted to go, but i already have plans.. and thinking about him whether will he be free cause i know he too has plans.. i think it sound confusing.. both of our plans are similar, we are going out with our friends for hari raya.. i'm going out with my primary school mates whereas him with his rugby pals.. i postpone my primary school outing as not a lot of people are free on sunday.. as for him, he just cancelled his plan to spend time with us.. thanks dear, really appreciate it.. i bet we're going to have so much fun over there.. we're gonna sleep over at the kampong and going back monday night.. i think by the time we reached singapore, it would be late and there a big possibility that my grandma will ask him to stay over my house till tuesday.. boy, i am just so excited! i am seriously looking forward to spend more time with you dear.. i really miss you..

gUy5 0n +hE rEb0uNd..

Boy On The Rebound (taken from www.girlfriend.com)

You've got the guy of your dreams. He's perfect - affectionate, attentive and keen. He's the perfect boyfriend... except he keeps talking about his ex!

Most girls will start going out with a guy and everything's going smoothly... until the ex is back on the scene! He suddenly has to 'sort himself out' before committing to you! To avoid being the 'dumped and confused' girl, here are a few points to keep in mind when trying to spot a boy on the rebound!

THE COVERUP

Your boy could be throwing himself into another relationship, in order to cover up his heartbreak. He'll do this when he can't deal with any pain, hurt or guilt he may be feeling. He will shower you with affection, but don't be fooled. This is just to convince himself that he's happy without his ex.
What to do: First of all... enjoy the attention! Be aware that this is simply a band-aid for his pain. He is still healing from heartbreak, so take it slow. If you give each other enough time to suss out your feelings, things should end well.

THE 'FRIEND' FACTOR

OK - they've broken up, but they've remained good friends. Her photo is up on his wall, and she sometimes comes out with you. He assures you they're just friends, but how can you be sure?
What to do: It's hard when his ex is still in the picture, even if they are just friends. With her around, it's a constant reminder of the way they used to be. Remember, that you're with him now and she's not. If he assures you he's ready for something new, he's worth a chance.

STILL BITTER

This is when your boy is constantly saying bad things about his ex. He is still angry and he obviously isn't over his heartbreak.
What to do: If his attitude is annoying you, try changing the subject. If this doesn't work for you, simply assure him that your intentions are good and you won't hurt him like his ex did. If he doesn't believe you... let him go!

THE HIDE OUT

This is when he is not ready to show you off to the world. He still hopes that he and his ex can get back together, and doesn't want to ruin their chances by going out with you in public (in case someone should see you and spread the word that he's moved on).
What to do: This guy is obviously not ready for a relationship with you, so give him some space to sort things out with his ex. If he really likes you, he'll chase you when he's ready!

THE PLAYER

This guy has just broken up, but refuses to miss out on some action from the chicks. Warning - player on the loose! He doesn't want the hassle of a relationship or emotional commitment.
What to do: If you're happy to go along with his casual attitude, then do so. Proceed with caution. The person who always seems to get hurt in situations like this, is the girl.

It's easy to be jealous of your guy's last love, they did share a history after all! But don't fall into a relationship if you think the guy is not ready. Suss out the signs and if he's clear... give him a chance to prove himself.
Remember, a guy will always have a special place in his heart for his ex... but don't confuse this with him still being in love her!

L0veLy...

where: Moorea, French Polynesia
when: 1996
photographer: Jodi Cobb



"Nowhere on earth can one so quickly overdose on breathtaking gorgeousness."


*it would be a priceless moment if i had a chance to be seated there with you, enjoying the divine environment and you to make it a perfect surrounding*

hmmm...

my sister went back to school to collect her psle results.. was kind of scared for her.. she had 226.. i was hoping a better aggregate cause i knew she can do better.. since it's her best, i can't ask for more.. congrats sis! just hope you will make a wise choice in choosing your secondary school.. your next chapter of life.. trust me, it'll be great! and you will be able to see yourself grow into someone more mature..
well, yesterday went to in's house and his house.. there were four of us, me, in, my sister and him.. i really had fun playing scrabble with them even though it always put me to sleep.. haha.. after spending a few hours at in's house, went over to his house..
i felt mean cause his mom specially cook for us.. the food was delicious.. ate 2 full plates of bee hoon.. and a number of fried chicken wings.. i never eat that much.. haha.. thanks auntie, really appreciate your effort! we really felt welcomed and they were really nice bunch of people.. enjoy interacting with them.. overall, it's a success.. was kind of nervous and anxious before meeting them maybe it's my first time meeting some other people who does mean so much to him, his family.. well dear, i'm glad i had a chance to meet your family members.. i wish to spend more time with them..

i am really suffering from the cramps i'm having.. it's really bad but by hearing his voice, the pain just fades away temporarily..

*dear, if anyone were to ask you : does she likes you? your reply should be no explaining she doesn't like me but she loves me..*
cause i really love you and really mean it.. there isn't anyone else i want to spend my life with except for you.. i love you! one more thing before i forget, you do look hot in what you wore yesterday! seriously hot and steamy.. *yummy* haha..

c00L bu!Ld!n9..

"Perhaps the most design-conscious European city, Barcelona first won aesthetic notice in the late 19th century with its lush modernista architecture, a variant of art nouveau. Antoni Gaudí led the way with dreamlike creations like Casa Batlló."




where: Barcelona, Spain
when: 1998
photographer: David Alan Harvey

i think this is one extraordinary building and it gives you a spooky feeling.. it's tempting me to know what's inside.. don't you think so? the exterior design looks complicated and exquisite.. it's sure difficult to design such a building.. if i were to travel to spain, it's my top priority to visit and take snaps of this interesting architectonic..

heLp 0u+..

slacked with my cousin today.. in the process of crapping, i helped her out in her new layout.. hope you all will give it a visit.. scroll down to my other personality, right hand corner.. and click on insyirah.. and ta-da you will see.. learn a thing or two while helping her.. haha..

cR@b5

was just surfing the net when i came across this pic.. i think it look kinda cute with the eyes staring back at you.. haha..


"Eyes perched high on stalks allow ghost crabs to watch for predators even while scuttling through sea foam."
where: atlantic ocean coast, gabon
when: 2000
photographer: michael nichols

m0v!e5 +!me...

went to watch the incredibles with my mom, aunt, my cousins and siblings.. the show was great, i'll give it 5 popcorn.. it was really worth it.. the animations was damn neat and cool.. especially jack jack, the youngest member, was so cute! he reminded of my little cousin, iklil..

Plot Summary: From the Academy Award-winning creators of "Toy Story," "Monsters, Inc." and "Finding Nemo," comes this hilarious action-packed animated adventure about superheroes. Bob Parr used to be one of the world's greatest superheroes (known to all as "Mr. Incredible"), saving lives and fighting evil on a daily basis. But now fifteen years later, Bob and his wife (a famous superhero in her own right) have adopted civilian identities and retreated to the suburbs to live normal lives with their three kids. Now he's a clock-punching insurance claims adjuster fighting boredom and a bulging waistline. Itching to get back into action, Bob gets his chance when a mysterious communication summons him to a remote island for a top-secret assignment. Pixar Animation Studios stretches the boundaries of the art form with this stylish and entertaining film. Acclaimed filmmaker Brad Bird ("The Iron Giant") directs.
(taken from: http://www.superherohype.com/incredibles/details.php)

bRe@k+n9 uP qU0+e5

" It's not you, it's me"

So, you've got a new boyfriend. Everything is going great... until... he delivers a lame breakup line! Why do guys use lame excuses when it comes to breaking up with someone? Here are a list of the most common lame breakup lines, and what they really mean!

"IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME"
What he really means: I want to hang out with my mates more and play around. I don't want you to get upset, so I'll blame myself to get out of it.

"I DON'T WANT TO LEAD YOU ON"
What he really means: I like someone else and want to get out of this painlessly, so rather than telling you the truth I'll say this because it make me look better.

"I THINK WE'D BE BETTER AS FREINDS"
What he really means: I think I'll keep you around for a while in case I don't find someone new.

"I'M TOO YOUNG FOR A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP"
What he really means: I thought you would just be someone to hook up with, but now I realise I actually have to put in some effort I want out!

"I'M MOVING AWAY SOON, SO I THINK WE SHOULD BREAK UP NOW TO MAKE IT EASIER FOR US"
What he really means: I'm not going anywhere; I just don't want you to think that there is anything wrong with you. I'm hoping by the time you realise I'm not leaving that you will be over me and I will tell you that my plans changed.

"YOU'RE LIKE A SISTER TO ME"
What he really means: I'm not attracted to you anymore.

"I LOVE YOU, BUT I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU"
What he really means: I care about you, but not enough to stop me from wanting to hook-up with other girls.

"I THINK WE SHOULD GO ON A BREAK"
What he really means: I'm too much of a coward to dump you, so I'll just keep your hopes up until you realise that we're never getting back together.

"YOU DESERVE SOMEONE BETTER"
What he really means: I'm just trying to make myself feel better by pretending I'm doing you a favour instead of breaking your heart.

"MY MUM SAYS I'M NOT ALLOWED A GIRLFRIEND"
What he really means: I don't have a good reason for breaking it off so I'll use my Mum as an excuse. Hopefully, by the time I get a new girlfriend you will have figured it out.

Taken from girlfriend.com.au.. no offence though..

b0r!n9 @nD !+ c@n'+ bE bE++eR..

again today stayed at home.. am seriously bored the whole day.. can't think of anything to do.. so all i did was sleep and sleep and sleep.. hopefully tomorrow will be a better day!

b0r!n9..

the past two days, no one came over my house.. so i didn't do anything much.. wake up late and just slacked the whole day through.. had a conference call with siti and suliza on the 16th.. catch up with stuffs.. missed siti.. it been a few months since i hang out with her.. and i was really disappointed with her, well, it's her life.. can't control it, can just give her advice.. whether she heed it or ignore it, it's up to her..
then chatted with him before heading to bed.. sorry dear..
yesterday wrote a sort of poem to him.. spent a few hours thinking of it.. i really lacked of creativity.. just hope that he likes it.. it is basically about how i first met him and stuffs.. recalling back on how i saw him, how i heard his voice and etc.. it brings back the memories.. it is something i could never ever forget.. i think it is really sweet.. going off as he's here!

5en+ 0Ff.. pReP@R@+!0n5 @nD h@r! r@y@..

at last, i have a proper time for me to sit down without rushing to update my blog.. i will like to wish all muslims around the world, selamat hari raya aidilfitri.. to all people who knows me, please forgive me if i have hurt you in any way.. *recalling* on thursday, being infuenced by the 'kiasuness' of a typical singaporean, i waited up till 0130hrs cause my results will be out on 12th november.. i don't really know why but i think i was kind of excited to get my marks as it is my first poly results.. the 'kiasuness' doesn't pay off as the server was down.. woke up at around 0930hrs and received a message by zaid saying that we can check our results.. quickly got up and switch on the laptop.. it was just one click away to see my results but i dare not.. the excited feeling was still there but now it was combined with a "what if" feelings.. i asked my sister to see it first.. i was hoping that she would just kept quiet not saying any word, but *shakes head* no, she didn't.. she said out the results.. i was screaming when she said "a".. haha.. went over to look at the results and i screamed with happiness.. even though i was saturated with happiness, there was still a feeling of regret.. "if only" questions came to filled my mind.. i was quite disappointed with myself cause i know i didn't put all my effort into revising.. i know i can do better.. but what was done can't be undone.. overall, i was quite pleased with it.. 3 a's and 3 b's..

at about 1145hrs, my sister and i send off my maid, kak ti to the airport.. the taxi driver really made us worried as he was saying the luggage was really heavy and told his story of how his daughter had to almost pay nearly $2,000+ for excess luggage.. the three of us kept quiet through the journey as i was composing the last words to her.. while weighing the luggage, we overheard that the excess of 1 kg it would cost $8.. thank god that she had only to pay $100+ for the excess weights unlike the taxi driver described to us, that was $2000+.. said to her my last words, we hugged and we cried before she went in.. both me and my sister felt heartbroken.. we felt lost for a moment but, we still had to continue with life.. i bought girlfriend hoping to ease my mind.. it does help a bit.. went to the viewing mall, sat there and talked to my sister for about 30 mins then head home.. i really had fun with my sister on the way home..
reached home, slept till 1830hrs and got myself ready as i need to go to the cc to help out in the kidsread programme.. after breaking fast, met shikin and walked to the cc.. pathetically, only 4 kids came.. even though it was only 4, the class was difficult to control.. the 2 boys were really noisy and running around while 1 of the girl was wandering in her own world.. only 1 girl was obedient.. went home and watched singapore idol results show.. daphne was out.. i'm still proud of her.. i don't think she expected this far.. called him before heading to bed.. worried for him.. dear, just try to endure.. this is part and parcel of life, nothing is perfect.. just remember, i love you! *hugs*

on 13 novembver, saturday, it was the last day of fasting and the eve of hari raya aidilfitri.. helped out my grandma and my mom.. my aunt's family came over and we break fast together.. crap with in and my sister.. felt sorry for him after chatting over the phone.. *hugs* it will get better dear, trust me..

on the 14 november, sunday, it was hari raya.. did some last minute touch up.. i mean the house.. haha.. and my aunt's family came.. for all i can remember was that my mom's twin was the first family to come over every year.. all the girls from my aunt's family and mine wore the same baju kurung.. the guys all black but my bro was the exception.. haha.. seek forgiveness from the elderly.. stayed at home while both of my sisters went to follow my aunt.. people came and me and my bro helped out to bring out the food and etc.. the first day of hari raya is the same as the past few year hari raya.. except that dot dot dot.. there can be some interesting one.. while entertaining my paternal cousins, i heard the doorbell being rung.. went out to look at who but my dad had answered it.. and suddenly, i saw that cousin of mine.. i think he did saw me but i quickly went inside my room and entertain the kids.. i was really frustrated with that cousin of mine and his family, especially his *toot,toot* mom.. his family went inside the room where my grandma was.. and my mom asked me to call her twin sister to come..
*summary* few months back, my mom had an argument with my uncle and his wife.. actually my mom was just giving suggestions and knowing my mom, her tone can be firm and people may have the wrong impression.. that *toot,toot* found out her son relationship with me and doesn't approve of it.. and she was calling me names.. because of all this things that happened, we had a war with them..
the door was left ajar when i walked past that room and at that moment, i saw my cousin got slapped near his mouth by that *toot,toot*.. seriously, it was really a great feeling.. i mean i was experincing a huge sense of relief feeling seeing he being slapped.. it's really a tight slap, it was a nice one.. a few minutes later, my aunt came over.. then the drama began.. i can never forget that fateful incident.. my uncle and cousin was out of the room when, the *toot,toot* was being locked inside by my aunt.. my uncle was punching and kicking the door till portion of it broke.. i think it was childish of him to act this way.. there were 4 families in my house excluding his.. thank god, all of the other 2 families are closed to us and have some sort of idea.. there were really a lot of children.. most of them ran to the kitchen as they got scared by my uncle's action.. in started to cry.. i wanted to cry but i hold back my tears.. i went to take my youngest cousin, the chubby baby, to my room.. and locked the door.. while the situation outside was really scary.. i can hear my mom, her twin sister and my uncle were shouting.. i tried my best not to hear and talked to the baby, diverting all my attetion to the baby.. i will get all stressed up when i see people fighting.. i hate it.. spent 25mins in the room till the situation outside has calm down.. went out and past the baby to someone else.. that *toot,toot* and her children were nowhere to be found.. and saw some men crowding at the balcony area.. i think my uncle just left.. the funny part was that my mom shouted "f**king a**hole" to him.. i was taken aback as that was the phrase i always use when i got pissed off and angry.. my mom does got influnced by me.. haha.. then calmed my grandma down..
my brother wasn't there when the incident happened.. told him and we had a sibling talk.. haha.. well, i enjoy talking with my brother when only he is in a good mood.. after some talking, we get to know each other better.. in, haziq and hazirah slept over as it was really late.. their parents and iklil went home.. before heading to bed, called him and we talked about the day we went through.. dear, i'm really glad that you're fine and you did enjoy yourself.. i miss you!

yesterday, can't wait for him to come over.. and after hours of "agonising" waiting.. he came.. gosh, you look hot and smart! love you! ate lunch together.. the four of us (me, him and both of my sisters) played scrabble, uno and monopoly.. i can see that my sisters really enjoy being with him.. that's a good sign.. we had a lot of laugh yesterday.. he stayed till 2030hrs and head to his aunt's house nearby.. the weird thing was that people who are related to me, some sort has connections to him.. does god trying to show something? i have no idea.. even my best friend, suliza don't have connections to me.. it's really weird.. suliza called when i was talking to him.. she was scared as she heard some knocking on her window.. haha.. asked her to call someone else.. after talking to him, called suliza and we kind of plan for our hari raya outing.. haha.. she's like a lullaby.. i always felt very sleepy when chatting with her.. haha.. sorry pal, will continue some other day.. dear, sorry i felt asleep and thanks for today, had tons of fun.. and again, you look hot and fantastic! i love you so much!

i can't wait to go out cause i will be able to wear my shoes! haha.. to reflect the past few days, i think god was really showing me some stuffs.. for example, why the moment my cousin got slapped i walked past? god, i really appreciate all those hardships and happiness you given me.. without hardships, i wouldn't know how it feels to be happy.. god bless all of you!

m!nDLe55..

yesterday, slacked the whole day.. at night, my parents asked me to follow them.. destination : geylang serai.. haha.. well, got nothing to do at home, so went ahead with them.. asked in to come along, at least i got someone who think at the same frequency with me.. haha.. walked around.. bought foods.. but i didn't have the appetite to eat, no idea why.. maybe missing him.. while heading back to the car, all of us saw maia lee, a singapore idol contestant.. my brother was saying her name loud enough for her to hear and she looked at our direction with a smile.. we returned her smile.. on the way home thought of a nice message to send him for our second month anniversary.. excatly at midnight, he send me a message.. damn, i was wols (slow).. haha.. replied his message with some mushy stuffs.. haha.. i love taking my dad's car.. cause inside it, only i can sing my lungs out.. it's like a karaoke session inside the car.. haha.. everyone will be singing along with the songs.. it's like a routine, first up it's backstreet boys' video.. followed up by blue's and lastly, westlife music video.. really enjoy and had fun singing..

today, 11 november 2004 is our 2nd month anniversary.. through the 2 months, i never regret any seconds of it.. it's been an awesome ride and i want it to continue for eternity.. if only god permits.. he's a dream that i've always been seeking.. i am obliged to god for giving me a chance to see him again.. and i wish and i hope that he's the one!

tomorrow, my maid, kak ti is going off.. i'm really going to miss her.. she's been a part of our family since 4 years ago.. she's the one who i share some family problems to, cause she understand my situation better as she knows all my family members' attitude.. she's the one who i will ask to accompany me outside the toilet when i'm feeling all pusillanimous.. any relationship problems, any whining and etc, i'll find her.. haha.. not only me who shares my problems to her.. surprisingly, my brother who appears as a hard-hearted, shares his problems to her too.. asking for her advics, etc.. basically, all my siblings will just go to her.. my mom and granny too.. well, how i wish she can continue but she needs her own life too.. she needs to start a family, enjoy her life.. i love you kak ti and all the best! don't forget to write letters to us! thanks again for everything..

tomorrow also i'm getting my results *crossing my fingers* hopefully, it's a well deserved grades..

my aunt and her family will be coming over to break fast together as a whole family before kak ti goes off tomorrow.. how time flies, it's already 4 years with her, 2 months with him (well, actually it's longer), 28 days of fasting.. i bet all the muslim in the world are busily preparing themselves to welcome syawal (the month of hari raya)..

today, volunteer myself to do the sampul duit (an envelope where you put the money; green packets).. haha.. did only 10 as it was troublesome.. then baked more of my crispy cookies for myself and my aunt..

heard some news about some stuffs from some sources.. am feeling kind of pissed off with some people.. they are just making used of people.. and in secret they owned some valuable assets.. well, you all won't understand..

i love you dear and missing you badly! *hugs and kisses*

to all hindus out there, have a happy deepavali! *toodles*

bEeN rE@LLy +!rEd...

sorry to all dear loyal readers, it's been a long time since i update my blog.. this time, i'm not lazy but i'm really really tired.. a lot of stuffs been happening around me.. interesting stuffs i must say.. i know this entry is damn long... well, continue reading and ride along with me to know what i've been through..

on the 4th nov, a thursday.. in the morning while i was preparing myself to go over my aunt's house to learn to bake a cake which i love to eat, when suliza called.. she sounded really excited and she said that she won two tickets to the singapore idol.. i thought she was joking cause she loves playing a prank on me.. but she said she's not joking, seriously she got 2 tickets to the show that is on thursday and friday night.. i only believed her the moment she sounded she's going to cry due to her luckiness.. she was really excited after winning the tickets from perfect 10 when they asked when was christopher's birthday.. only 8 lucky listeners are able to win the singapore idol tickets.. i went all excited too.. haha.. we were to be at the mediacorp building by 1900hrs to collect the tickets..
i rushed to my aunt's house to learn how to bake the rainbow roll cake.. it's really colourful and delicious.. trust me, come over my house during hari raya and try it out.. reached my aunt's house at around 1145hrs, it was when she wanted to send off hazirah downstairs for the school bus to come.. so me and my maid waited for her at her house and take care of my cutie chubby baby cousin named iklil nur atiqah.. went off baking cake when she reached home.. making the cake will get your hand messy, we chose 5 colours for the cake that is red, yellow, blue, purple and pink.. really colourful.. we managed to bake 9 of the cakes when i have to get ready to meet suliza..
before that, i was really pissed off with suliza, cause i was busily doing the cake and she expected me to find out the place and to meet her at 1700hrs.. i think it was crazy, just to get to the destination it would take 2 freaking hours.. and finally we decided to meet at 1745hrs at bukit batok bus stop.. and what pissed me off again was that she's late! well, i read bliss while waiting for her.. when she came, sorry came out from her mouth and i told her the truth about she pissing me off.. haha.. we had a laugh about it and we're fine with each other.. we do get angry with each other but it would just take a few minutes.. took train till braddell and took cab from there.. we reached andrew road at about 1845hrs.. and we had to wait to collect the tickets.. even though, singapore idol starts at 2000hrs, a lot of people were already lining up.. the kiasuness of singaporean.. haha.. it was great seeing them singing live on stage! after the show, one of the person announced that the idols would be at the reception to sign autographs.. we waited for a while and it's getting late so i kind of promise suliza that we would stay and get their autograph tomorrow.. reached home, settled down, called him and told him about my day.. *hugs*

on the 5th nov, the following day, a friday went over my aunt's house early in the morning at around 0900 hrs.. before heading over, went to a shop to buy cornflour as we were running out of them.. baked marble roll and the rainbow roll cake.. i learnt how to roll the cake and i really need lots of pratice on that.. the marble roll came out to be fine but it's not up to our standard.. even though it's edible, i have no idea what went wrong.. haha.. around noon, suliza came and learn how to bake the cake.. my aunt's neighbour came over to pay her a visit and she introduced suliza and me as her niece.. suliza was kinda stunned but i think my aunt really knows how close both of us are.. whenever my aunt, mom or my grandma asked me who i'm going out with, the answer "with suliza" is always what they heard.. even for suliza's side, whenever her parents asked her who is she going out with, her answer is "nurul".. haha.. and today was his last paper and i'm glad to know that he can obtain a good marks from it.. see, have faith in yourself and pratise does work.. *hugs*
after baking all the cakes, went to freshen myself up while suliza waited for me.. then off to suliza's house.. both of us thought of breaking fast in the bus on the way to andrew road.. i had to order food for her while she went up and get changed.. by the time i got the food, it's already 1830hrs.. after much persuasion, suliza decided to break fast at her house.. a few minutes before breaking fast, her parents were home and they bought food.. they offered me some food, but i can't take it anymore.. her parents asked some questions about their daughter and suliza gave me that don't give the wrong answer look.. i kinda told the truth.. haha.. thank god, they weren't naggy about it.. by the time we left her house, it's already 1935hrs.. while waiting for a cab, i wasn't paying attention when out of a sudden, suliza gave me a nudge.. the cab driving towards us is a london cab.. *smiles* we were all smiling when we hailed and it stop directly in front of us.. cause both of us never ever have a chance to take it before.. haha.. it was spacious inside the cab and we felt as though we were some important people.. haha.. it gave us that classy feeling.. haha.. once in a while..
when we reached the place, there weren't lots of people as the day before.. we queued up and when we reached in the studio, it was already 7/8 full.. we have to sit separated, suliza had to sit behind me.. it's great being there when you're stressed cause you can just scream or shout it out loud without people looking at you cause the studio would be noisy.. haha.. it was cool and fantastic overall..
after the whole thing, a lot of people including us went to the reception to wait for the idols to come out so we could have their autrographs and snap pictures of them.. we waited quite a long time when we heard people screaming for leandra.. squeezed myself into the crowd to ask for her autograph and managed to take quite a number of pictures of her on my hp and suliza's cam.. next out was olinda.. same again, i had to squeeze.. while waiting for the other 3, we saw some people heading behind it was daphne.. and again, squeeze through the crowd and managed to get in front of her.. asked for her autograph and chatted a bit about smss.. haha.. she was from smss, and a year junior than me.. she normally sang on teachers' day concert.. and ya.. we really dread the interval between each of the idols as it was really long, like 15 mins.. we would sit down on the floor and wait for the next cue (people screaming) and we get on our feet as we know an idol will be coming out.. haha.. the next person was taufik.. can't really get closed to him as he was surrounded by a group of teenagers.. and lastly, it was sylvester sim! i managed to touch his left hand! i was really close to him.. there were twice when suliza and me caught his attention by keep calling out his name.. he looked at the cam and smiled and i got his signature.. *grins* always with that cheeky smile of his.. haha.. when the crowd get bored of leandra, olinda and daphne, the two of us took pictures with them.. then we managed to get an autograph of taufik and snap his pic.. by the time we left the building, it was already 2300hrs.. we were really tired but did enjoyed ourselves.. i teased suliza by saying that i've got a chance to hold his hand for a long time.. haha.. she pretended not to hear me out.. haha.. too bad pal, need to push yourself through the crowd.. to reflect about it, both of us were really crazy, we seldom do this kind of stuffs and we really make full use of it.. i was really lucky as i really got close up with all the 5 idols unlike my pal, she was far way behind and i got a chance to touch sylvester's hand.. how on earth i did that? i have no idea, all i know were i was pushed closed to him.. haha.. maybe i know how to make my way through.. i didn't get step on my toes unlike someone.. haha.. it sort of my lucky day..
reached home at 0015 hrs and saw my brother using the phone, washed myself up thinking that he would finish his phone call by then.. but no! i was really frustrated with him cause whenever i used the phone, he would just interrupt saying he need to use it for a short while but his short while was 30 minutes.. that was why i felt it was unfair.. he was being inconsiderate as tomorrow i need to wake up early and i just need to talk to my boyfriend.. had a tiff with my brother about his relationship with his girlfriend.. at 0130hrs called him and felt bad about it cause he's sick and i made him wait up.. talked to him for like 3 mins and put down as both of us were tired with our day activities.. well dear, i'm really sorry and i'm thankful that you wait up for me.. *muacks* so it wasn't my lucky day at all.. dear, even though i kept talking about the idols, don't you worry cause you are the only one that my heart belongs to..
scroll down to see the autographs.. it was signed on an envelope which suliza won her tickets.. and it's kinda messy..

it's the signatures of the three ladies, leandra, daphne and olinda...


the autographs of the two guys, taufik and sylvester.. with suliza name in the middle on the envelope..

on the 6th nov, a saturday woke up at 0600hrs to give suliza a morning call as both of us need to meet at yew tee mrt station at about 0830hrs.. i was late and she had to wait for me.. sorry pal.. it was the launch of clean and green week and we headed to the green volunteers booth to make balloons for the small kids.. it was a nice feeling seeing a smile on small kids face.. we volunteered from 0900-1200 hrs.. the purpose of it is to attract as many people to join the green volunteers network.. the green volunteers network was started in November 1997 to increase public participation in environmental protection by providing a range of hands-on activities and programmes to turn awareness into action.. find out more at www.gvn.com.sg.. i happened to come across the website in a cab where that was pamphlet about the gvn.. i really like the gvn's code and strongly agree on it : he who plants a garden - plants Happiness.. by seeing the enthusiatic faces of the people over at the launch of the cleen and green week, the urge of me wanting to become an environmentalist is even higher.. even though, i can't reach to that state, i hope to work in some place where there's plants.. or make people aware of the present environment.. i was so glad that our volunteering time is up.. the past three days left us exhausted and insufficient sleep.. both of us looked worn out and we don't have the energy to talk to each other.. both of us even thought of breaking fast, but we didn't.. dozed off on the way home.. when i reached home, took a nice shower and called him.. even though i was dog-tired, hearing his voice soothes my soul.. dear, you're the only one who has the power to do so.. *winks* after chatting, slept all the way till 1830 hrs.. and watched tv afterwards.. didn't have the energy to think about what to write in my blog, it's just too much to write and i need to find a appropriate timing and mood for it..
while watching the news with my sister, i was shocked to see my face among the leandra supporters asking for autograph.. haha.. my sister, my mom and me were laughing away.. haha.. i hope no one recongize me.. *blushes away* haha.. chatted with him before heading to bed..

on the 7th nov, sunday.. met up with him at 1345hrs, orchard control station.. walked around just to see at shoes.. walked to wisma nine west and isetan, taka, centrepoint, og, tangs, shaw towers and scotts shopping centre.. and after that few hours of walking, i can't make up my mind on which shoes..
he suggested to go to bugis but i kindly declined and suggest city hall instead.. before heading city hall, we took a train to geylang as he wanted to change his capal.. he bought something for my grandma.. we really make that a fast trip as both of us don't really like it at geylang, it's always the same old thing every year and there is a lot of mats and minahs over there.. then head to city hall.. walked around the city link and saw nice shoes.. and then suntec, nice shoes too.. haha.. then raffles city.. went to the nine west store.. damn, the shoes are freaking elegant and really, really nice and bought one of the shoes after trying out some.. pity him have to wait patiently for me.. *hugs* now the next thing we decided was where are we gonna eat.. grandma called and asked whether we're breaking fast at home and he answered yes as he doesn't have the heart to break grandma's heart.. haha.. before heading to my house, went to a nearby 7-11 to get super big gulp as both of us were really thirsty.. my aunt's and her family were over at my place when we reached home, we broke fast.. the four of us, me, him, my sister and my cousin, in, were joking around about stuffs.. gave him 3 of the rainbow roll cakes, one big bottle of the crispy cookies.. while my grandma gave him a container of muruku and lempeyek.. (don't mind my spelling mistakes.. haha) and he was so proud that he was able to put my youngest cousin to sleep while carrying her.. haha.. good for you then.. he was embarrassed to pass the presents he bought for my grandma.. my grandma was blur as usual and though that there was only 1 present but instead there were 3.. haha.. *winks* sent him down to the bus stop and by the time he reached home was 2315hrs.. chatted with him when he settled down..
thanks dear for accompanying me to buy my shoes.. and i guess you learn about my shopping style and my fussiness.. *oops* haha.. called him and he was watching troy.. chatted for a few minutes and head off to bed.. thanks again dear! *hugs*

on the 8th nov, monday, did nothing much.. slacked at home.. played scrabble and took a nap with my sister in the afternoon.. break fast and chatted with him at night.. i miss you dear!

on the 9th nov, tuesday, which was yesterday, followed my grandma to the cpf building at jurong east to withdraw and top up her ers shares.. but it wasn't only the two of us, he was with us.. went to ntuc and bought fruits, fishes and vegetables to prepare for breaking fast.. my grandma kept asking him what he wanted to eat.. haha.. in the afternoon, played scrabble and monopoly with him and my sister.. had fun and we really enjoyed ourselves.. i can see that my sister had a fun time laughing at his jokes.. haha.. after breaking fast, he head off to pray terawih.. chatted with him at night and his niece aged 3 year-old chatted with me for a short while.. she's so cute.. haha.. and she knows my name.. went to bed at 0045hrs..

for today, 10th nov, i have no plans for today except to bake more of my cookies..

dear, i'm grateful that i've been spending time with you.. and i enjoyed every moment of it.. never have i thought that i could be able to have relationship that i wanted.. thanks for giving me your endlessness love and encouragement.. knowing you're with me propels me to greater heights.. i will always love you dear!

!+'5 +hE b@Kin9 PeR!0d..

right after updating my blog, i went off to bake crispies cookies.. i hate to bake while fasting cause i can't be able to taste the mixture.. i really love those cookies mixtures, it will determine whether the cookies you bake will turn out to be nice.. even though i didn't get the chance to taste it, i'm smart enough to keep only a tiny portion of the mixture for me to taste during breaking fast.. haha.. i'm really addicted to it.. while breaking fast, the first thing i ate was the cookies i made.. it was nice and once you start eating it, you can't stop.. but it tasted a bit saltish.. haha.. it looked like i'm bragging about my cookies and promoting it.. haha.. i think i'm going to bake it again next week as i don't think it will be enough.. cause last year i baked it with a cousin of mine, haziq and my sister and within the fourth day, it was all gone.. haha.. it was so delicious *cough,cough* that one of my cousin asked for the recipe.. well, different people has different taste.. it was fun baking with them and the three of us were crapping around as it was late at night and only the three of us were awake.. both of them were a great help and thanks, i really appreaciate your help.. *smiles*
i was updating my blog half way when my grandma asked me to try the baju and after that, i'm feeling stressed out because of stuffs.. that was why i was unable to finish updating.. my mind was all confused and can't seem to think for itself.. i wrote down stuffs that i need to do but it was futile.. the feeling would not just go away.. hate that shitty feeling.. i can't really describe that feeling, only god knows.. in the midst of the morose feeling, he smsed.. *grins* a little part of me glow.. he smsed saying he's feeling weak out of a sudden.. so it's like both of us were feeling down.. i find it weird because while surfing the net, i came across his personality type.. he's a cancer.. this was what i found out, [Being the first of the water signs you have psychic powers, and are able to sense feelings and thoughts in others - you feel rather than think. When you love someone, you love truly and deeply, and have the desire to connect on a profound level.] so i think he felt that i was down or something.. i felt much better after chatting with him even though it was for a few minutes.. maybe because i felt blessed that someone loves me.. the feeling is not the same as the love from my parents, siblings, grandma, etc.. it's much more that kind of sparkling feeling, where you feel special and great about yourself even though you're feeling inferior and worthless.. i think this is something what you call love..
i think being in love is much more tougher than earning income.. both need commitments.. i dare say that love is not selfish.. as being in love, the basic ground rule is to think and feel for that someone, it wouldn't work out if you're only thinking about yourself.. and you will need to be flexible in order to react to your partner's mood.. he/she can't be feeling sprightly for 24 hours.. i bet there's time when your partner is feeling sullen.. your sweetheart is inconsistent and you must be creative enough to react to it.. when he/she is feeling down, you can't be joking with them too much, you shouldn't converse with them using harsh tone.. being in love is interesting as you may receive suprises and you may just never know what will happen next.. as for working, the work that you will be doing is pretty much the same old thing, the same old boring routine.. if you never work to your standard then you are excepted to be fired.. it's some sort predictable.. working is about a one man work whereas being in a relationship, it a two man thing.. hopefully, you are able to understand what i'm trying to convey..
back to what happened next.. i need to return books and i thought my sister could accompany me, but she was really tired, she felt asleep.. i was quite frustrated, cooled myself down by watching tv, it does help in some way.. my maid passed me the phone as i had a phonecall and it's him! he saw someone and he thought of sharing it with me.. asked about his whereabout and he asked whether i'm feeling better.. i told him about my sister falling asleep and stuffs.. and *smiles* he said i'll accompany you.. gosh, i was smilling cause i'm able to see him.. i really miss him so much! met him, return books, buy cereals and break fast outside.. that's about love, it never fails to make you smile and grateful.. he was concerned about me and as he is a year older, he knows a bit more stuffs than me and gave me some advice and stuffs to thing about.. thanks dear!
it was my dearest grandma's birthday on the 2nd nov.. i really have no idea what to buy for her so i just gave her money for her medicine.. i was kinda lame in folding a few of plain papers, only one contain the money and placed them in an envelope.. when she teared out the envelope and saw the pieces of folded paper, she was like it's surely a prank.. she can't be bothered and almost threw it away till my sister showed her what she supposed to do.. haha.. she looked cute while opening those folded paper.. and at last she saw a note and she was like thank you.. there was joy on her face.. she was surprised that it was me who gave that present as i'm not that generous compared to all of my three siblings.. haha.. because whenever she asked whether i've got money, i always without fail say no.. haha.. see how *ehem* i am.. actually i'm not that *ehem*, it will depend on situation.. dear, don't worry, i'm not *ehem* to you.. haha.. chatted with him when he's settled down at home.. i'm really lucky to have you dear cause i know you will always be there for me.. and rememeber, i'll be there for you too.. i love you! *hugs*

wH@+ @ c0!nC!dEnCe...

it's just like 2 hours ago since i updated my blog.. i was flipping through my file that filled with recipes and an envelope that contained my name on the front came off from the file.. and yea, the letter was from someone that i was with for a month.. he sent it to me personally to my house but thank goodness i wasn't home.. i was in school.. when i reached home that day, my grandma said the guy sent me a letter.. i was surprised in the sense that i thought he said that it was better that we wouldn't keep in contact and don't even remains friends.. i had no problems with it.. and out of the blue, he came over my house and deliver the letter.. and yea, as i read through it again today, he signed off with his name followed by 14/7/2004.. i was flabbergasted as it was my significant other's birthday.. why out of 365 days, it should be that fateful day? maybe god was showing me some stuffs but i overlooked it.. things are evolving something that gotta do with him.. like his birthday, his cousin and the day i saw him again.. to have chances like this is really rare.. it's like we're meant for each other but i can't be too sure until the day we have each other by our side till the end of life.. all we can do is to work hard to keep this relationship glowing and pray to god.. miracles do happened! in dictionary.com, miracle is defined as an event that appears inexplicable by the laws of nature and so is held to be supernatural in origin or an act of God: "Miracles are spontaneous, they cannot be summoned, but come of themselves".. to me, i believe all things happened with a reason.. some day or later, we will found out but there are exception where we just can't make out what is god trying to show.. put all your trust and faith in god and i'm sure He will lead you the way.. He is the only one who undoubtedly understand you.. god bless all of you!

wHen y0u @Re F0unD 9u!L+y

i had a tiff with my grandma.. *shakes head* and i am the one who started it.. i was rude to her cause i wasn't in the mood to do stuffs.. yea, i think i've been pampered too much till i don't place myself in their position.. i lacked of emotional depth.. i must try to feel more.. i felt bad after i answer back to her.. did some reflection and yea, i apologized to her.. it seems that she wasn't willing to forgive me.. i did my thing, and finally, she laughed and talked to me.. but seriously, i really feel crummy about what happened.. i can just sealed my lips but, no i didn't do that.. i'm really sorry grandma, i was being insensitive.. it all started when she asked me to try out the kebaya she sewed and i said harsh stuffs back to her.. it's not that i mean it, it just that i just spit out words that was insensitive without thinking.. i messaged him saying that i had a quarrel with my grandma and his instant reply was "CALL ME NOW!!" gosh, i knew it that i'm going to have a lecture by him.. i was so right.. yea, he advised me and stuffs.. my grandma complained to him about me.. i'll try not to do that again dear and thanks for your advice.. i'm relieved that it's over and glad that me and my grandma is on good terms now..
my dearest cousin, in, came over in the afternoon to send my sister home with her parents.. my mom and dad were asking us whether we wanna go out.. both of them were ready.. i said no as i was freaking hungry and can't be bothered.. my sister, brother and in agreed with me, they weren't in the mood to go out.. but there was like 2 more hours before breaking fast.. i thought why not wasting my time outside and have things to do rather than staying at home and it's been a long time since i went out with my parents, a long time since we went shopping together.. so yea, i made a decision to follow them and in, my sister and brother came along too.. haha.. it only take a spark to get a fire glowing.. one of the phrases in the hymn.. those were the times in secondary school where every monday we would have devotion and there's hymn to be sung..
i was worn out while watching tv with my sis and took a nap for 30 mins.. chatted with my him.. i really adored chatting with him, it just makes me comfortable and secured.. well, that's a tiny weenie portion of why i love you dear!
while having sahur, i felt refreshed and i will be baking cookies later in a while.. to think back about saturday, 30 oct, i felt it was meant to be, it was like i was fated to meet his cousin cause the chances of meeting her was very, very slim.. i don't have an idea which class is she from, don't really know exactly how she looks like and etc.. there were like >1,000 schoolgirls and out of a sudden, she was just right in front of me.. hopefully, this is another sign that god wanna point out to me.. a sign showing that he's the one.. i really wish that our relationship will last for eternity and he's the one i want to grow old with.. i know it's kinda early for me to say that cause i may never know what god has in store for us but nevertheless, i really treasure the moments when i'm with him.. it's feels great to be with him! i'm really in love with you dear! *hugs*